Posted by Dinah on October 26, 2012, at 8:12:02
In reply to Let us not ridicule the person., posted by SLS on October 26, 2012, at 0:03:05
Certainly no person should be ridiculed, and definitely not for something they can't really help. We of all people should recognize that. It just adds to the unpleasantness of this environment without having any positive effect other than the relief of frustration.
From a pragmatic point of view, it just doesn't work. Under Lou's view of the world, such attacks are expected, and not actually viewed as a result of his behavior.
I do think it is possible to see humor in the situation without ridiculing anyone.
Of course, I also don't like to see expectations for behavior entirely excused because of compassion either. There are many vulnerabilities on this board, and many people who should have their feelings considered.
We're powerless to change anyone's behavior. My therapist says we can change our response to that behavior. Bah. We can repress it. We can try to subject it to our intellect. We can look at the behavior from a different angle, and genuinely see it differently. But I think CBT's big flaw is to assume our underlying feelings are entirely malleable. To some extent, our feelings just are what they are.
In the end, we're powerless to change anyone else's behavior, we're without any administrative support. We can wish all we want that things would be different, but they won't be. All we can do is decide whether the value we get here is greater than the price we pay. If it is, there's no point cursing the winds. We just batten down the hatches and make the best of it.
And if Dr. Bob uses any of this in a study, I'll be so furious that all the CBT in the world will not change my implacable hatred. It will make my current scorn for him look like undying love. It's one thing to make observations on a community that one is running to the best of one's ability. It's another entirely to study a group of people one has largely abandoned to their own devices.
poster:Dinah
thread:1029828
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20121018/msgs/1029849.html