Posted by 4WD on October 6, 2012, at 23:45:59
In reply to Re: 36 hours of can't stand up, posted by 4WD on October 6, 2012, at 23:20:23
It has been nine years of very very bad. Then three years ago it got way worse. I can barelyv tolerate being alive/aware now. I wake up every day physically horribly sick feeling. For 2-3 hours I can't open my eyes our speak our get up for the bathroom even. I feel too bad to walk there and back. Like severe flu plus bad overdose if alcohol hangover plus jet lag. Plus horror, despair, dread, guilt, fear, doom. By the 4th hour I can start to move around some if I gather up every ounce if self will I can work up and force myself to try to move . Chronic, total exhsustion, more mental than physiological. Flat, dead apathy and lethargy. On topof the plain depression. Plus fear that only piece of
Xanax can take the edge off. And those are the good days. On the bad ones, when the pain transcends the emotional ability to handle it and it becomes physical pain even. (not muscles, its horror that squeezes my chest and shudder and stomach. Praise God for Zyprexa. 5mg plus 1mg Xanax will still effectively lessen it enough to endure. After I've been awake maybe 6 hours, I can notice where I am, if its raining, etc. I get about two or three hours of feeling just physically drained and weary and sick but ok emotionally n then I have to to to bed so it can start over again the next day. Been diagnosed w fibromyalgia, and maybe chronic fatige. I don't leave the house, literally, not the couch. I used to still make myself do things to try and help myself but I have finally reached the point where I have lost the ability to even msgs myself try anymore. I do not have it in me to feel motivation if any kind. My husband does our housework stuff. I sit there's guilty a
poster:4WD
thread:1027829
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20121001/msgs/1027907.html