Posted by Novelagent on August 22, 2012, at 12:09:39
In reply to Disability, posted by brynb on August 21, 2012, at 15:34:10
If you think you've experienced depression before, just wait until finding out what it's like living off of $800/a month and having no remote hope of even trying to get a job again, because you've given up and checked out of life.
The past doesn't always predict the future. If you commit to the notion you can't change, and you're unreliable forever because you use to be in the past, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, and becomes the reason you are unreliable. Cognitive Behavorial Therapy is all about this-- changing your response to automatic inclinations, so you can eventually alter your behavior and stop selling yourself so short.
What are the symptoms of hypomania? Not being depressed alone isn't hypomania-- do you have forced speech? Engage in risky behavior? It's unlikely if you're on lithium that you have hypomania... If you do, it's just a matter of raising the dose. Lithium is a very effective drug.
I'm on disability right now, and trust me, it sucks. I'm going back to school. I use to go to work late and so can relate to feeling unreliable as an employee, but I have a part-time job now and show up on time now. I also show up on time for everything else now, by planning to be early and using reminders on my phone calendar. I use to always be late or not show up to things.
Before you consider disability, you need to do a cost-benefit analysis and ask yourself if you're willing to live off $800/month for the rest of your life (and forget being able to afford to date).
And then consider how depressing it will be to not even pretend to be in a transition, but instead to have checked out of life and bascically do little more than stare at the wall all day.
It's probably hard to get references if you've been an unreliable employee, but you can change that by full-time volunteering in your field for charities that teach english to kids or something else related to your field, and then use your references from supervisors there.
You should agressively be asking your therapist for help changing yourself so you become more reliable about making your committments in life-- full-time volunteering, etc.-- and go to therapy sessions weekly.
Be honest with your therapist you don't trust yourself to be reliable in the future, and need help practicing. Go to your committments early--plan on arriving early to things, and you won't be late. Also, you only get money from Soial Security Disability if you've paid into the system with a number if work quarters on the calendar. Otherwise, you get like $600/month from Social Security income instead, and no medicare. There's nothing glanarous about disability payments.
And that's assuming you don't resort to paying an attorney a quarter of your disability check every month for the rest of your life (how do you think those attorneys on daytime tv can afford all those ads?) which is what you have to do, unless you have a lawyer in your family with experience in appealing disability claims. So your better bet would to go to therapy. People have overcome worse than being unreliable and not showing up.
Also, be careful on this board. You can find people who will want to make you feel like a victim, rather than give you encouraging support to take things on and overcome your valud challenges.
> Hi All,
>
> I'm wondering about going on disability but haven't a clue where to start or if it's even a good option for me. Sorry, this is long-winded, but if you can help, I appreciate feedback.
>
> I'm a Writer and a Teacher, but haven't worked full-time in two years. For the past two years, I've freelanced and taught and collected unemployment in between. I last taught in June and have since been collecting unemployment. (I was at the end of a really bad depressive episode and just couldn't keep working.)
>
> My depression started at 14 and worsened with age. I suffered a lot in college, but was still able to earn my Bachelors and Masters degrees in my 20s. I worked very hard as a Copywriter and Teacher throughout my 20s to my early 30s (I'm 38 now), but because of my depression, haven't been able to hold a steady job.
>
> Over the last seven years, I've been to rehab for substance abuse three times, medical detox for substances six times, and to the psych ER twice. I had two substance-induced seizures and bounced around a lot with doctors struggling to find the right diagnosis and treatment. It was miserable. My existence was miserable. My relationships with family members became horrible, I isolated myself and never left my apartment.
>
> I've been clean for two years (and realized I was basically self-medicating), but as of June, still had stubborn anxiety and depression (seemingly treatment-resistant). As of early July, I began working with a new doc, and I'm hopeful he'll work out. I'm currently on Lithium, Lexapro and Tramadol, and for the first time in years, I feel okay (even good, I think!). I get up and out of bed every morning. My relationships have been repaired. I talk to friends again. I'm even dating.
>
> The thing is, I'm finally aware of the fragility of my brain chemistry and how important maintaining a steady regimen is (w/ meds, sleep, etc.). It's also VERY clear that I simply can't handle the stress I experience from work. I just can't anymore. It triggers episodes for me. I'm feeling good, but I know this can be fleeting, and I'm simply unreliable as an employee. I also think that while I'm currently doing well, I'm experiencing hypomania, and I've had some mania in the past (from meds), so this scares me. The unpredictability that comes with mood disorders is, well, unpredictable.
>
> My pdoc is away and my next appointment with him is at the beginning of Sept. I'd like to discuss the idea of disability with him. If I do apply for it, I can see there being a problem in that my medical records (and memory of a lot of what's happened in the last 15 years) is shoddy at best. What to do?
>
> If you've read all of this, thank you! Sorry to over share, but I'd love for some feedback.
>
> Thanks so much.
>
> -b
>
>
>
poster:Novelagent
thread:1023820
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20120818/msgs/1023921.html