Posted by johnLA on July 1, 2012, at 23:17:31
In reply to Re: Depression that worsens with age? » johnLA, posted by Phillipa on July 1, 2012, at 20:34:27
>John your first depression and ECT? Something just doesn't sound right. Unless you feel you were really kind of extra energy before. Could it be the first dip in a bipolar diagnosis? Thinking as I read? Phillipa
sorry bryn. don't want to hijack your thread...
phillipa-
yes, i still can't believe i had ect 2 months in to my first depressive episode. but, w/out going in to too much detail due to this being bryn's thread i was hospitalized twice for suicidal thoughts in those first 2 months. i suffered many losses over 2009/2010 and i think i was also reacting very strongly (akathisia) to the multiple meds the doctors were throwing at me. i wish i knew then what i know now. i was literally going-out of my mind. and, i think it was a combination of stress and med side-effects. just the akathisia was a nightmare on its own.
no sleep, lost 30 pounds in 2 months. just thinking back to it makes me uneasy. i was at ucla the 2nd hospitalization. i would have given anything for the pain to stop. i was scared. i never had had a suicidal thought in my life before. i was 'sold' on ect and bought-in to it. unfortunately it didn't work. i often wonder if they had given a huge amount of benzos to calm me down or zyprexa or something similar how things would have turned-out.
i have taken several tests for depression and bipolar. there were a few items on the bipolar test that hit home, but not many. i scored very low on these bipolar tests. also, when i tell a doctor my history they are like 'wow, you got hit by a lot of stress in a short period of time.'
still, w/all the bipolar talk today on the board i'll ask my doc about it a bit more this week.
thnx for looking after me phillipa.
john
poster:johnLA
thread:1020589
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20120630/msgs/1020653.html