Posted by Bryn B on June 29, 2012, at 10:04:37
Hi,
SLS & Bleauberry, I included you in my header as I've seen so many knowledgeable posts/feedback from you. Long story long, my depression is beyond control and has been for the past 2 months. I'll be 38 on Sat., and this is something I've struggled with since I was 14.
I've been taking Lexapro 20 mg for the past 6 months. Prior to that I did a washout and found that being off psych meds was a lot worse than being on them. I also tried Wellbutrin, emsam and some others (pretty much monotherapy) to no avail. Those drugs in particular made me nervous and very irritable, which adds to my suspicion of maybe being bipolar 2. (Neurontin is one drug in particular that puts me over the edge into maniaville.)
Bleau, you had written in a previous post that I should look into possible causes related to Lyme disease, inflammation, etc. I know that finding this out is not easy or precise, but my bloodwork is seemingly normal (though it's never been looked at by a pdoc, surprisingly). By chance, I started taking Tramadol last weekend to combat severe leg pain ( and headaches and arm pain that is most likely Fibromyalgia and definitely flares up when I'm super depressed). Though I don't feel okay or in remission, Tramadol has made me able to function. I couldn't care less if it's an opiod or off label or that I'll have to deal with withdrawal if and when I decide to not take it. In my effort to annihilate this friggin beast of burden, I am at a point where nothing is out of the question.
I basically have been occasionally seeing a pdoc who is pretty nice, but a bit older and somewhat rigid. He quickly dismissed Tramadol as not being a "psych drug" blah, blah, blah. His solution to everything is Abilify (yeah, he's got tons of samples). Abilify didn't do anything for me in the past, nor have other APs--they just make me feel like I'm 500 pounds and more sluggish than usual. (To be clear, thats a metaphor--Im 5'4 & 108 lbs).
I never gave protriptyline a fair shake as it just takes so long to work, but if tramadol works, I'm sensing that a TCA with my Lexapro might be good, possibly w/ Trileptal or another somewhat benign mood stabilizer in there for good measure.
(Trileptal and Tegretol are the only stabilizers I've done well w/ in the past, but they do make me gain weight and add to my fatigue.)So, once again, I have no idea if I'm dealing w/ MDD, bi 2, or maybe even MDD w/ BPD. I'm searching for a good doc who is compassionate and thinks outside of the box. Seeing as I live in NYC, Woody Allen-ville where neurosis is standard and pdocs are as common as nail salons (one on every corner), this shouldn't be difficult, but after years of struggling, I've found this to be quite a problem. I spoke to 2 different new docs and have 2 separate appts setup for next week at $500 an itial visit (no insurance, I pay out of pocket).
Basically just wondering if you (and others) have an thoughts or suggestions. I may sound somewhat plucky, but I've been suffering horribly and need to get a good diagnosis, regimen and doc in place.
Is it worth mentioning that I have a history of substance abuse in the past (not alcohol, just drugs which has usually been an attempt to self-medicate). I'm clean now (have been for 2 years) and I dont drink. That said, my depression has worsened as I've gotten older, and I need to start dealing with this head on.
Thanks,
B
poster:Bryn B
thread:1020427
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20120608/msgs/1020427.html