Posted by violetdream on April 17, 2012, at 0:24:36
I started out Parnate for about 4 days on 10 mg, then moved up to 20 for a week or two. Now I've been on 30 for 2 weeks now.
When I started I felt numb and unable to cry or get upset by things that would normally upset me. It was kind of confusing since it was not my norm but it was "better". I was able to keep up with hygiene and taking vitamins every day, which I was earlier unable to do.
I have always suffered from obsessive worrying but I don't remember intrusive thoughts being this bad. I have always been sensitive to rejection but due to a number of recent major rejections time after time I have been left fairly crippled. I have been having a number of intrusive thoughts that get triggered by things only vaguely related to someone I was rejected by or they will just pop into my head at random. Sometimes it's as often as every minute or five minutes and I can get overwhelmed. Unlike OCD like behaviors, it's upsetting that I can't STOP the thought. It's just there. If you have a behavior, you can stop it once you have the thought, but I feel like I can't STOP the thoughts just with therapy. I know that MAOIs are treated for hair pulling (trich, can't spell the whole name) which I'm not sure has helped me that much, although I have a minor case. You'd think that if it helped with that, it would also help with these thoughts.
In addition to this I have developed possibly a mild case of BDD. I obsess about my appearance to the point where it takes hours and hours for me to feel ready to go out and even when I do I don't feel comfortable. I've been rejected by people so much that I feel like there's something wrong with me and it may be my appearance. I haven't ever had this that I can remember or at least to this extent before.
It's like I'm doing worse off now than when I started the parnate. I'm having too many days sleeping and lying in bed all day crying half the day and obsessing and ruminating and not being able to do a thing, basically paralyzed. Did it poop out? I'm guessing I need 60 if not more for my atypical depression. Has anyone experienced a worsening of symptoms during treatment? Is this normal, or a bad sign?
poster:violetdream
thread:1015753
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20120411/msgs/1015753.html