Posted by B2chica on April 11, 2012, at 15:35:51
is this how normal people feel?
im feeling...kinda...well weird.
i know the zyprexa is now well into my system. i think i started about 2 weeks ago.i feel very unnervingly happy... but also this sort of churning chaos of emotions inside.
i'm concerned because i still have periodic thoughts of suicide. and i know thati can be impulsive when it comes to self injury.
but i want to do Everything. Everything i haven't done while being down the last 6 months.
i also have this mixture of energy and anxiety.
its more than anxiety because its physical energy. my legs going 100mph under the desk at work.
im my brain thinking of ALL the crafts, tasks, cleanings and projects i've been needing to do over the winter months but haven't had seemingly time to do.
the good news is im writing again. it feels really good and its something i truly enjoy. i want to hang on to it. but now i feel like i'm going a little beyond what normal people feel.i just dont know.
but im doped on gabapentin to try to calm myself but now i'm just loopy on only 600mg and still full of physical energy.i'll give this another week and see how i handle it. it would be not so bad if it allows me to exercise in the morings again.
i went mon and tues morning. but not this morning.b2c.
"What is madness, but nobility of soul at odds with circumstance.
The day is on Fire, and i know the purity of pure despair."
Theodore Roethke
poster:B2chica
thread:1015390
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20120411/msgs/1015390.html