Posted by b2chica on March 26, 2012, at 15:16:52
In reply to Re: Buspar...depressive SI please help. » b2chica, posted by SLS on March 26, 2012, at 15:00:46
i know the zyprexa helps big with anxiety so i wouldnt need the buspar if takng zyprexa.
the buspar is helping with anxiety but i think it's worsening depression. i seemed ok or at least only mildly depressed before starting buspar.my Dx changes. its been Bipolar II, psychotic depression and MDD, i say aggitated depression as my "bipolar highs'" arent euphoric. normally aggitation, anger, frustration to yelling and wanting to hurt myself.
when my depression is bad (like i think its starting to) i get some auditory and visual illusions. just about 20min ago i was out for a walk and started tocross a street and had a visual that i got hit by a bus and my mangled body was dragged and torn apart. that shocked me and i almost fell down do to that interruption.
so i know my depression is starting to get bad. i dont have any auditory illusions/halucinations yet so that's good.the only family history that i know of is my Grandmother's sister shot herself. (i only found that out a few years ago) nobody talks about anything in my family. i was suprised i even found that out. but i dont know any details.
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right now i'm doping up on gabapentin. its making me a little loopy and tired so i dont act on any impulsive thoughts.
but i keep obsessing on the torrid disaster i would leave behind and i have to keep reminding myself that it DOESN'T HAVE to be that way.
im just kinda scared and dont know who to go to.
i have my pdoc appt April 2.thanks for the kind words Scott.
b2c."What is madness, but nobility of soul at odds with circumstance.
The day is on Fire, and i know the purity of pure despair."
Theodore Roethke
poster:b2chica
thread:1014015
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20120316/msgs/1014086.html