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Re: Pdoc won't give me Alertec » SLS

Posted by Deneb on March 23, 2012, at 19:56:57

In reply to Re: Pdoc won't give me Alertec » Deneb, posted by SLS on March 23, 2012, at 6:15:31

> Deneb.
>
> > Hmmmm....I think a life coach is a good idea. I'll look into that.
>
> I think a life coach is a good thing, too. I might use one in the near future as I begin to recover from a lifetime of depression.
>
> > The thing with therapy is that it is very expensive and I can't afford it and also I'm not very good with therapy. Often there is just nothing to talk about. Even with pdoc I just talk about my day. I'm just not very self aware at all.
>
> I guess being aware that you are not very self-aware is a demonstration of at least some self-awareness. This is a good thing. You do seem to function quite well at work. Perhaps you don't have anything better to do at home but to sleep. What would you do at home if you had the same energy and motivation that you have at work?
>
>
> - Scott

I think my problem is that I don't really have all that much self directed motivation. I'm motivated at work because people expect me to do well and there are immediate consequences of do doing well. Also there are many people who will think badly of me if I don't do things correctly.

When it's just up to me, it's hard to get stuff done when there are no immediate consequences. Also I think I'm just naturally very lazy. I'm not lazy at work, but that's because of the immediate consequences thing. Also I have a lot of people who depend on me.

I guess I'm still quite immature.

It's not that I'm immoral though. I'm finding more than ever that my morality is developing more and more. I'm much more empathetic now. I'll do everything I can to return a lost wallet to the appropriate authorities and I'll help random people out when I see they need help, but when it comes to doing things that help just myself and don't affect other people, I'm just very lazy about it.

If I have the same energy at home as I did at work I would clean my room, cook meals, vacuum, organize things, water the plants, make my bed, brush my teeth everyday before I fall asleep instead of just getting too tired to get up, do my taxes, volunteer, exercise, go out with friends, shopping etc.

I just want to be a normal person who is able to get more than one thing done in a day. I'm not sure I could handle a full time job. I remember some times when I worked full time hours and I was super tired and stressed out.



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poster:Deneb thread:1013597
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20120316/msgs/1013740.html