Posted by zonked on February 21, 2012, at 6:20:22
I sit here in agony... the cloudiness and depression and monumental tasks of doing things like going to the grocery store are very hard to communicate.
I kind of don't know what my point is here.
Today, I see my doctor. I am nervous. I had to go a bit without Dexedrine because I accidentally tainted my meds with a bug bomb (I finally had the energy to clean my house, which I really hadn't done for a year, and did.)
There is potential reason he might not refill it. This is so hard to admit--but, when I started cleaning my house, I discovered fruit/drain flies and larva. After a few life cycles, I finally had gotten them out, but I thought perhaps I had myasis because I had little bumps all over my body and I am terrified of bugs.
They asked me for my doctor's name and number and I gave it to them willingly, then asked what my diagnosis was and they said "delusional parisitosis."
If he won't refill my Dexedrine, I am going to have to suffer through this TERRIBLE withdrawal that seems to get worse by the day.
If he does, I will be fine within 30 minutes of filling my prescription. Both of those things concern me; and you'd think that neither would. One... even though I have pined for something to "normalize" me without waiting weeks before, when I finally have it, I am concerned. What is the "real" me? Was I just born with hypodopaminergic genes, or what?
Two, if he got a report from the ER, and decides to D/C my Dexedrine I AM SO SCREWED. It's clear to me that I probably have to be on stimulants the rest of my life in order to function normally.
Three: My family has seen me down in the dumps since I abruptly had to go off Dex. I can't mask my feelings well, and they do not like stimulants... how do I explain an abrupt switch from barely alive into functioning human being without them being suspicious?
poster:zonked
thread:1011066
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20120221/msgs/1011066.html