Posted by hyperfocus on October 15, 2011, at 1:21:57
In reply to Just a thought..., posted by SLS on October 13, 2011, at 19:06:43
Back in the 80's I don't think there was a kid alive who didn't want to be like Michael Jackson. He had everything - tons of money, looks that made girls scream, fame, success...30 years later his life ended in the most pitiful state. Scorned, ridiculed, vilified, hooked on drugs, finances in ruins...He had everything but for all he had he constantly felt the need to alter his appearance till he didn't even look human. He could have gotten literally any woman he wanted, yet his sexuality was so dark and distorted and repulsive to most people. He might have been the greatest entertainer of all time but he still needed incredible amounts of drugs just to sleep for a few hours, just to escape his life for a while.
It's not just drugs people take to escape. I know people who have everything yet who just can't find anything to satisfy them. They get the best jobs, make the most money, get the best-looking cars and women, workout 5 days at the gym, have tons of friends...and yet it's not enough. Their lives are in shambles - marriages wrecked because of infidelity, kids estranged - they have so much yet they fail at the most basic things in life. No matter how much they acquire or how much they spend they can't seem to get enough to escape from who they are inside. As afflicted as I am, I wouldn't want their life for a second.
There's a line I came across recently: The rich will forever be in want while the poor will never be in need. I know a lot of people on PB ware kind and unselfish and compassionate. To me that's plenty enough. I don't want any friends who aren't like that. Wherever the normal people are I don't want to be 'there.' I'd rather stay in my current state than be like the majority of 'normal' people. Every day I open my eyes I try to appreciate the fact that I get to live another day, when so many did not. If I live though the day in pain at least I know I tried my best in my thoughts and in my actions to do no evil to anyone. In that sense I don't know if there's a better place to be.
C-PTSD: social phobia, major depression, dissociation.
Currently: 300mg amitriptyline single dose at night.
Also: Allegra, 1000mg Vitamin C.
Improving.
poster:hyperfocus
thread:999643
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20111006/msgs/999769.html