Posted by hyperfocus on August 22, 2011, at 21:40:28
In reply to Look, I know I complain,, posted by floatingbridge on August 19, 2011, at 22:09:31
It's not complaining. Writing about how you feel always has a positive effect both on you and the people who care about you. It's the silences that are worrying.
Yes, getting better will be a non-linear thing. There are going to be days, months, or longer when you feel like absolute crap. Do you keep a daily journal? You should record your daily med intake and mood and depression level, etc. so you can analyze it later.
I'd say stick on the Emsam for at least 8 weeks. You don't really know for sure what a med is doing for you even if it doesn't produce significant surface effects on your day-to-day functioning. And, more importantly, you've been on it for a couple of weeks already - might as well stick it out for a full trial. MAOIs can begin working after a couple of weeks, from reports I've read here. It's a pretty crappy deal, but it's not impossible.
The side-effects of amitriptyline at 10mg should be much reduced, and at a low dose it means you could (MAYBE, ask your doc) take it concomitantly with the Emsam. I don't see the SEs of amitrip as being worse than a full theraputic dose of something like like Zyprexa. Even without the AD effects, it can manage the fibro pain and insomnia very effectively.
Why go on? Well one reason would be your family. Even if you're in a lot of pain you still make them happy. If can't do it for yourself then you can do it for them. Like I told you before: if you try looking back at the past or divining years into the future all you're going to do is freak yourself out. Even if you want to, you can't live your life more than one day at a time. You're so lucky to have your own family - I envy you. So try not to think about next month and don't freak out if your mood dips very low on a given day - you still have a huge amount of living to do.
I was watching this mini-series on Florence Nightingale on how though she tried her best for the soldiers she cared for and they all loved her, it was discovered that death rates at her hospital were actually way higher than the average because she neglected sanitation and waste management and water sources. She spent a week catatonic, unable to eat, sleep or talk, consumed with despair on what a terrible person she was and how badly she had screwed up what God called her to do. And then her father told her that she was mortal, and made mistakes, and maybe the mistakes were what God wanted her to do as well. She then took her knowledge and went on to create the modern practice of nursing as we know it - principles which are followed in every hospital to this day. So the point I'm making is that pain and despair and mistakes we make can be part of living too - it's not wasted effort.
C-PTSD: social phobia, major depression, dissociation.
Currently: 300mg amitriptyline + 200 mg sulpiride; single dose at night.
Also: Allegra, 1000mg Vitamin C.
Improving.
poster:hyperfocus
thread:994355
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20110822/msgs/994598.html