Posted by polarbear206 on February 20, 2011, at 9:54:06
In reply to just an experiment..., posted by j-legs on February 20, 2011, at 5:58:59
> I have never written before about this, mainly because I think I am afraid to let it out.
> Five years ago, at 38, I was a 5'2",135 lb. woman with severe depressive bi-polar disorder and anxiety. I managed to get two degrees, two beautiful children and a husband with some use of SSRI's, that all eventually petered out. However, despite my illness, and it's inherent problems, I was HEALTHY.
> I was put on Nardil a year ago beccause of the "immunity" to SSRI's. "He" started me at 15 mg and ended up at 90. Why? because it didn't work. I was also put on Tegretol. These two medications are poison together and my pharmacist was very hesitant and upset about giving them to me...but I wanted to feel better mentally, right? But I didn't feel better, I started feeling very poorly. So I investigated, looked it up in the National Institute of Health TOXNET site. I was horrified to realize I was just being experimented on. I was just a complaining woman. Now I am a woman with a raised ANA level indicating possible drug induced lupus (see Tegretol), hypothyroidism, asthma treated with sterioids, sleep apnea treated with c-pap, EXTREME edema, enormous weight gain, horrible numb arms and hands with shooting pains. My blood pressure is high and never was, my heart rate is high, and never was. I can't even walk to the bus stop with my son without gasping for air and feeling like I'm going to black out. I never sleep because of vivid nightmares (even with a script sleeping pill.)
> In the next two weeks I am scheduled for a cardio catheter, to see if my symptoms are from congestive heart failure, also another effect of Tegretol mixed with Nardil. I am crying my eyes out because I am so scared. My children are only 6 and 8 years old. No one in my family really understands the constant state of fear, pain and exhaustion I am in. But, I am pretty tough. I was a very strong woman before this, I was a dancer, a swimmer. I loved life despite the agony of the reoccurring depression. Now I am so afraid to lose it. Maybe I am just depressed. I am on 15 mg of Nardil alone now, with only one week to go until I am off of it. Now that I am almost off of it, and nothing seems to be getting better, this is my doctors reccomendation. I've been to the er twice, had 3 cardio tests done, lung tests and now see a rheumatologist. (lupus) Everything is "off", but not so "off" that anyone is thinking much about it. It's the big picture you idiots. My rheumatologist thinks I am "just depressed" because I've taken to crying out of frustration. I am just looking for attention. Making it up. How do you make up your ring size going up 4 sizes? How do you stop your period for a year? Why would I want to pay so much on co-pays and drugs and missed work?
> I swear to God, if this was caused by a drug "oversight" I will make them pay dearly...For every snide remark, for every condescending look, for all those "educated" people who just told me I was having a panic attack, for my husband who wants to leave because he can't handle it any more...but most of all for my good little boys who have waited and waited for their mommy so patiently. It's ok kids, the doctors are going to send us to Disney World...just have to make it through 'till then...Was Metabolic Syndrome discussed with your doctor?
poster:polarbear206
thread:979541
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20110220/msgs/979544.html