Posted by BearNCrow on January 7, 2011, at 22:43:57
I have tried every drug possible to treat the extreme lower back pain and radial left leg pain that I have. The lower back pain is 20 years in the making (I'm 33), but has been severe for about 6 months. The left leg pain that is almost 100% severe, debilitating, crippling nerve pain has been present since Thanksgiving. I'm in the process of gathering opinions from surgeons. Surgery is absolutely necessary, I just can't decide how aggressive I want to go at this point in my life. My wife is due April 22, I am unemployed, and need to get a job and get on with my life and want to be an able bodies father and husband. Any tales regarding various back surgery experiences would be appreciated (amiwjoseph@gmail.com).
Okay, I have literally taken every nerve pain medication, muscle relaxer and narcotic and then some that exists outside of what you get with inpatient hospitalization. Currently I'm taking 800mg Ibuprofen (I wake up every day with fierce flu like body aches) and Percoset 10-325 (2 every 6 hours; my doctor rarely prescribes Percoset this strong). It helps a bit, but not nearly enough to allow me to stand or walk for more than a few minutes. I live in a recliner and cannot sleep in bed. It may be a few weeks until surgery. The Percoset makes me groggy, sleepy and pukey on and off during the day and night, kind of like I'm constantly waking up from surgery. And again, the pain relief is minimal, but it is present because I went last night without taking it as scheduled and paid dearly for it when I finally woke up.
I have been "clean and sober" for 13+ years. I got clean and sober when I was 20. To me they are labels that may not be relevant to me anymore. I am a transsexual male and hated life before transitioning and was constantly trying to destroy myself through many means. I wonder now, as it has been determined that my bipolar diagnosis was incorrect (I'm just a transsexual), if I really have an addiction problem. I have no desire whatsoever to drink, but I am seriously considering smoking medicinal marijuana rather than taking Percoset until I have surgery and am recovered from the pain caused by surgery.
I am willing to "blow" 13+ years of being "clean" if I am able to experience pain relief. The Percoset makes me high, but also kind of delirious and, well, like I'm just waking up from surgery. Marijuana never made me feel that way. So I would be more productive, more oriented, more awake and less pukey if I used medicinal marijuana. I've never smoked medicinal marijuana, so I cannot speak about pain relief, but theoretically and based on tons of research, if it's the right strain, it does provide significant pain relief.
Percoset is addictive, medicinal marijuana is not. Percoset causes nausea, disorientation, sleepiness, etc. Medicinal marijuana has a much different effect and does not cause nausea which is HUGE for me. Percoset is terrible for my liver, short term use of medicinal marijuana is not going to give me lung cancer. Percoset is chemicals, medicinal marijuana is natural and unadulterated. Based on this stuff medicinal marijuana is hands down better for me. I just don't have prior experience with medicinal marijuana which is much different than what I used to smoke.
I live close to an area of the country (not California) where medicinal marijuana is grown, just not legally. I've already had a "consultation" and now I just have to decide if I want to go that route. I really believe that I could try it a few times and if it doesn't help with pain then I will be able to walk away from it. I don't need drugs and alcohol anymore and in fact, now that I'm in the right body and am seen correctly by society, I want to live life raw and real. I hated life for 31 years and have a lot to make up. Yes it would seem weird to smoke, but if it helps, I believe it is healthier than Percoset and other narcotics and pain management medications, and that I can stop it and will want to stop it when I no longer need it. I feel like I'm not trying to prove myself to anyone or prove anything to anyone. I just want quality of life and deserve it.
I have discussed this with my wife, therapist and psychiatrist and they all understand the dilemma and support whatever decision I make. For me I'm just hung up on words like "clean" and "relapse" and what not even though I don't consider using medicinal marijuana short term and as prescribed a relapse. I guess I am more hung up on what others think. If someone says I am back at day one, then they are judgmental and lack empathy, and when it comes down to it, I'd rather be in less pain and more comfort even if it means I'm no longer "in recovery." And then there's the "it's illegal" piece and I don't want to go to jail nor does my pregnant wife want me to go to jail.
You get me at this point. Thoughts? Psychotropic medications I am taking are 200mg Seroquel at night, 1mg Klonopin morning and night and 1800mg Neurontin morning and night (for sleep and nerve pain management although it doesn't work for pain, not sure about sleep because of pain). I am in the process of going off of Seroquel and am already off of Lithium with no bad reactions and in fact I feel better off of it but plan on staying on Klonopin long term for anxiety. Okay folks, please help me hear the right answer for me!
poster:BearNCrow
thread:976148
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20101231/msgs/976148.html