Posted by vic80 on July 17, 2010, at 18:43:08
Hi,
Dx: MDD, anxiety and obsessive thoughts.
Rx: Savella - 25mg, provigil 100mg, lorazepam 0.5mgHi
I am on Savella for depression since past 2 months. I went through a rough start up which entailed ups and downs of moods... finally I was put on 50mg once daily as the morning dose was was making me feel dizzy.
On 50mg I became more calm than I should have been - a numb zombie like state, not feeling nice but just having energy, and has a lot of mental fatigue too.
So my pdoc 4 days ago made the dosage back to 25mg and added provigil to deal with the excessive numb feeling and lack of energy.On day one of provigil, I felt nothing first few hours, the usual bland dull depressed mood, and then in a while i felt nice..... felt mood elevated, felt for the first time in a while that the dysphoric veil was off me.... it lasted for well over an hour and gave way to focus..... I felt totally wired on it, felt nervous, almost a mental straitjacketed feeling..... my 0.5mg ativan helped to cut through that... but I felt very strange...
On day 2 the onset of action was early, the good mood was better,,,, not euphoric though.... was very energetic etc..... was joyous talking to people.... greeting people etc..... this gave way to just focus and finally nervous anxiety and blank mood.... in a while the energy surge came over again... i was self-confident, talkative and honest.... i was quite blatant in stating the truth and this was a good thing.... I felt like my VERY old self again..... but I guess the overwhelming feeling that something is wrong in life, that i need to change my life to come out of depression made me feel somewhat rejecting of the good mood....
anyways.... i had to take 0.5 mg ativan to counter an onset of a panic attack....
later i was at a party... first time in months I was feeling happy meeting people talking to them confidently about myself... in a little while this was replaced with just confidence and not much happiness.... slowly going down to feeling wired and irritable and snappy, getting angry easily......Also I get this feeling through out as though I am sleep deprived... this started day one itself... a sort of sleep deprived daze through out....
Day 3: felt as though nothing happened till 3-4 hours.... then mild irritability..... boos of energy... bu no mood elevation.... infact mood felt more and more down in the dumps totally..... felt tired mentally.... zoned out... lost and almost dissociated..... this was followed by the chatty talkaktive side coming up again... only to feel nervous .... 0.5mg ativan and in a while I am calm.... enjoying my walk... enjoyed tv.... feeling smily and cheerful.... sudden crash of mood to severe dysphoria and agitation..... feel like I will break something... quite angered....
in a little more while... I am calm again....I am wondering if the ativan actually somehow interacts with provigil in a way where the latter's effects get blunted or perhpas get turned around in to a dysphoric feeling.
I would really not want to miss on provigil as this has given me atleast a few hours of genuine cheerful happiness.
But I need to also weigh out the anxiety/obesssive side of me that is exacerbates....
What I absolutely cant stand are the bouts of numbing I feel - when I feel totally emotionally and mentally numbed - these were present in Milnacipran days - which is what prompted me to request for a stimulant
But if the stimulant is going to give me a fixed gaze, zoned out in to nothingness feeling then I am scared......
The severe mood swings I have noticed in past 3 days are terrible.
If nothing else there has been exacerbation in a very uncomfortable obsessive feeling of mine: that which makes me doubt if I am saying what I want, feeling what I want to etc, as though the modafinil focus turning inwards makes this obsessive trait make me feel like I am in a state of constant dissociation..... this could just be the good friend anxiety after all..
Now why would I still want to stick with this med if it is going to make me feel so terrible - I think the mood elevation I have felt is truly a welcome break from the dysphoric numbness I have been in all these weeks.
Is there any other AD which could give me the same effects like Modafinil.... withot the anxiety and numbing
Thanks.
poster:vic80
thread:954822
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20100709/msgs/954822.html