Posted by benzo85 on June 26, 2010, at 17:25:43
Hello
I've had SAD/dysthymia as long as I can remember. I didnt know what was wrong with me or how much it had always controlled and crippled my life.. i was just "different". Started smoking weed at about 20 or so, but shortly after, that just made me paranoid too, so smoked mostly alone or with roommates. I discovered what SAD was about 4years ago (i'm 25) and it was profound to have a label for this debilitating sh*t. i sought a psychiatrist 3years ago for meds when my anxiety was becoming too overwhelming. I researched the hell out of the options and wanted Nardil.. pdoc made me try zoloft and cymbalta first a month each at admittedly too moderate a dosage (100mg/60mg respectively) w/o success before finally giving me Nardz.
I remember I jumped straight up to the 1mg/kg dosage (75mg) and after just 5 days it completely wiped out my anx/dep. Every time i popped them id get a nice GABA buzz. that went away after a little bit, but the remission stayed.
I began some CBT therapy for a few months, but didnt really do the homework and stopped it because I really had no more problems! the Nardz completely had wiped the distortions and everything out.. i was in a whole new world for the first time.. it felt wonderful!
I stayed on Nard for about 3months.. and stopped after feeling "cured" lol. was smoking tons of weed, livin it up, had lot of money was playing stock market. i did this for several months.. i was becoming increasingly isolated tho, just smoking and focused on the market. anyways, i suffered big misfortune, lost ton of cash and resulted in big life changes. had to move, get a job, sell car, stop smoking. i was still optimistic at first, but after a month, i started getting depressed and general anxiety.I could feel a tangible knot or cloud forming in the front of my brain.. like my brain was atrophying.. i imagine it caused by cortisol flooding.
Then SAD creeped back..depression deepened.. anxiety became insane.. I got back on Nardil. 60mg. was on it for 2weeks with no improvement. that really scared me because i expected it to act like it did before.. it worked so fast the first time. but this time nothing. 2 weeks, nada. Anxiety and Melancholic depression deepened..super tired, nightmares. Pure O ocd popped up aswell, began having suicidal ideation.
Checked myself into hospital psych clinic. stayed a week. upped to 75mg. No real improvement.course went as followed.
-11weeks 75mg, slow but steady climb up into mild depression, anxiety still bothersome.
-6weeks 90mg, depression mostly wiped out 1st week. anxiety still lingering. Adjunct .5-1mg klonopin, prn.
-2weeks 105mg, stop klonopin, slight improvement in anxiety. Annoyance of side effects (weight gain, anorgasmia, insomnia, and others reemerging at new high dosage) make me try a try a week long titration down to 30mg, which quickly led to alleviation of side effects, but also poor mood. I quickly titrated back to 75mg, orginal kg/mg
3 weeks at 75mg. Anxiety finally smushed.I was doing some talk therapy aswell for like 4months, it was helpful to talk to someone.
So it was 6month to remission from that hell.
I stayed on Nardil for 17months, gradually lowering to 60, and then 45 mg to alleviate the annoying insomnia and weight gain.
I began smoking weed daily about 4 months prior to stopping Nard.I decided i wanted to quit smoking again to pursue some goals that needed clean drug test. I was fired from my job for tardiness. I was ok initially, just need to get another, right? well as a few weeks went by i was increasing anxious about my financial situation, and felt a little socially stigmatized. Realistically i had temporary financial options. But this subtle general anxiety /dysthymia and social anxiety was always in the back of my head. after another few weeks, anxiety increased.. I wasnt pursuing my temporary income, or social ties i was avoidant of them. i was basically backing myself into a corner due to this anxiety.
I felt that same knot in my brain returning slowly, then.. one day its like a dam broke and deluge of cortisol flooding in my head. ohh sh*t not again.SAD relapse. dysthymia. GA.
Been on Nardz for 7.5 weeks now. 6 weeks at 45/60, and 1.5weeks at 75mg.
Taking Klonopin randomly.I ended up dropping all my short term goals and changing living arrangements due to this relapse.
Could use a job, yeah. am i motivated to get one? no. i have support right now.
In a mental holiday state, i suppose.Waiting for these Nardz to do something. Theyve stablised me somewhat. exercising. am drinking wine at night.. smoking cigs. temporary self med, i know.
So some conclusions i've drawn.. and questions and insights from anyone is welcomed
I need to stay on MAOI to not relapse. Stressful events trigger downhill slide.
Though MAOIs are far more effective at response and remission of symptoms, people on MAOIs tend to not maintain therapeutic effects after ceasing treatment. But SSRIs and benzos have shown that ability. Damnit, why is that?
CBT shown to prevent relapse as well. I am interested in taking some of that, but have always been skeptical at its true usefulness.
Also, cessation of chronic marijuana smoking.. the cannabinoids have a antipressant/anxiolytic effect and they are lipid stored for a month or so after quitting. As this concentration goes down, would they make one more susceptible to anxiety/depression?Anyone ever maintain remission after stopping MAOI?
Does alcohol negatively affect efficacy of Nardil?
Do cigs? I know tobacco destroys up to 40% of MAO-b. Would that compete negatively with the Nardil?Thoughts, experiences..
Thanks! :)
poster:benzo85
thread:952285
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20100615/msgs/952285.html