Posted by Dan_MI on May 20, 2010, at 9:12:07
In reply to Back on the meds? Now that's REALLY depressing..., posted by StillHopefull on May 17, 2010, at 19:40:48
Patricia Spach, Country Doctor Community Clinic on 19th Ave E. & Republican St.
> Well, you have all read my post regarding my long time battle with depression and finally getting all those drugs out of my system. And I thank you for the information and support.
>
> Now it comes down to this decision. I think I need to take meds. And just that thought depresses me. But I can't go on like this. The apathy, the guilt, having to force myself out of bed just to do the bare minimum.
>
> I look back and can remember a better way to live. Yes I was medicated, but I was functioning. And yes, going through the med trials and the side effects, and the weeks of feeling terrible while giving the meds enough time to work... All terribly depressing.
>
> But I remember being able to go to work, and fixing a meal for my family at night, and working on my little projects, and actually enjoying the accomplishment. That's what I want back.
>
> So even if the meds only work for 2 or 3 years and then I have to go through this whole thing again, aren't those 2 or 3 good years are worth it? I think they are.
>
> I know I became severely depressed when my meds pooped out this past September. I just thought I would see what happened without meds in my system. Well, now I know. I have been completely drug free for 3 three full months and I continue to feel like dog poop. How much longer do I give it?
>
> And where do I go from here? How do I find a good pdoc? I moved from Texas to Seattle and I don't even know where to start looking. My old pdoc in Texas recommended someone up here, and I went to him for awhile. Then as my meds pooped out and the depression grabbed hold of me, I missed two appointments. And the new doc fired me! Can you believe it? He actually sent me a letter saying he couldn't be my doctor anymore. I do feel bad for missing the appointments. I called after missing the first one and rescheduled - but then I missed that one too. In 20 years I've only had 3 pdocs - the first one retired, the second one was super but I moved across the county, and the third one fires me. And this was the only time in 20 years I've missed an appointment.
>
> So now that I'm resigned to go back on the meds, I need to find an expert in the Seattle area. Can anyone refer me to a good pdoc, or even a resource to help me find one on my own?
>
> And any insight on my battle with the depression would be greatly appreciated too.
>
> Thanks!
poster:Dan_MI
thread:947741
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20100514/msgs/948014.html