Posted by Brainbeard on March 18, 2010, at 10:41:20
In reply to Re: Anyone exp. emotional flatness that turned around? » bleauberry, posted by conundrum on March 17, 2010, at 21:14:43
I'm a guitarist too, and a singer-songwriter.
Paradoxically perhaps, my first AD, which was prescribed for severe OCD, was Paxil ('Seroxat' actually, in Holland, which is of course paroxetine), and while initially it flattened my mood, it eventually (on the higher dose of 40mg) made me kind of hypomanic and gave me relentless enthusiasm for setting up my life, diving into my study of theology, enjoy friendships and mutual interests, and... It likewise fuelled my passion for writing songs! I was never without inspiration during this phase, which lasted perhaps for about one and a half or two years. I was fat, sweaty and had bouts of morning drowsiness, but - 'never a dull moment'! (To make the picture complete, my love for my girlfriend WAS dampened, whereas romantic and erotic interest in other women was greatly increased.)
Perhaps it should be mentioned that Paxil, on higher doses, touches both noradrenaline and dopamine, however lightly. It may have made the difference.
When I entered Paxil's withdrawal hell, I kept making and recording songs, but this time frustration and life's absurdity were my inspiration. I used to have a tape with fourtrack recordings dubbed 'The Seroxat Sessions'.
I don't think I ever fully regained the enthusiasm I used to have both before and during my Paxil use. Making music has been highly problematic for me ever since. The creative process is ever being highjacked by perfectionism, a lack of self-trust, obsessive fears etc.
I should add that years before I started taking Paxil, I had been a marihuana addict for three years, and during this time, I was never without musical inspiration either.
Well, I'm taking Lexapro (escitalopram) now, I'm currently on 5mg and are hesitating with going further up precisely because of impending emotional flatness. In fact, I think I experience the emotional flatness already. I try to counter it by taking amitriptyline, 25-50mg, but I'm not sure how well it works. I also experiment with taking imipramine (aka Tofranil), 25mg, but that increases anxiety.
I would love to try milnacipran (Savella) - sadly however, it's not available here in Holland, and from what I can see on the web it's fairly expensive.
poster:Brainbeard
thread:939726
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20100318/msgs/939925.html