Posted by vic80 on February 26, 2010, at 2:16:53
In reply to Re: Tianeptine for escitalopram's emotional blunting?, posted by bleauberry on February 25, 2010, at 17:00:42
Hi guys,
Thanks for messaging back. I had given up on wanting to find solution to my problem. I am a novice in the anti-dep med department.... never having taken an psycho-active med before.
First off I do not know if my emotions are numbed: for example I do feel angry, irritated, worried etc - perhaps not excited or sad or happy at things that should be making me feel that way. Then again IF I AM CONSTANTLY OBSERVING/TESTING MYSELF FOR EMOTIONAL REACTIONS it would mean that emotions would definitely not turn out naturally. Its as though I am in some indoctrinated belief that I have emotional-blunting and nothing should make me very happy or sad etc.
When I cold-turkeyed on my 36day escitalopram and 9 day mirtazapine on 13th feb - I had gone literally crazy - feeling like I am absolutely in another world - absolutely detached - not able to think - people talking felt like they are talking in my head - felt like I am a ghost.
Restarting escitalopram on 20th (after a week of being off it) did make me feel less psyched out definitely... but along came utter irritation-agitation and internalized anger. ..since past 6 days I have noticed myself becoming utterly antagonistic/irritated/angry/withdrawn and nihilistic.. and as a bonus sui**de ideation is back to haunt me... I am taking this all as a sign of the ongoing depressive bout perhaps.... and have my family around to keep a check on me.
I have definitely done more damage to myself by constantly reading about side-effects/adverse effects of medicines and mental-disorders - online forums with users describing catastrophic experiences with medication.I guess my current state makes me want to get euphoric without the intoxicating/mind-altering effect - I have done cannabis many years ago - but in the past few years I get panic attacks when I try to get high - on alcohol or weed - so I am off these completely.
I feel mainly that whenever I feel a little good - it doesnt last for more than a couple of minutes - and then I am back in hell - full of disgust/agitation and utterly disinterested.
Could this be the effect of restarting escitalopram?
BTW how does Dopamine effect euphoria - moods?
I wonder if the brain produces more Dopamine to offset the extra serotonin brought about by the ssri meds - and it causes one to be agitated?Any views on use Rauwolfia to curb emotional numbing... I am terified of anti-psychotics...,... though it is quite presumptious of me to think I'd need any.
I guess I am in a fix - is it depression/dysphoria - bad mood thats making me agitated and disgusted OR is it my fixation with my supposed emotional numbing.....
I took the Hamilton Test online on my own and my depression score was just 18..
plus I do not feel much anxiety - just irritation and anger - disinterest - no motivation - feeling harrassed constantly... helpless -I have just another 3- days before I go back to my p-doc (from the govt. hospital I can afford right now) and he is quite not empathetic...
Sorry for my rants - just could not put it any other way.
Would 0.25 mg clonazepam (prescribed by the pdoc) help in lessening irritation/agitation etc? or would I feel like a stupid zombie...
Should I blame escitalopram for the anger-agitation-dysphoria-disinterest ?
I have 6 tabs of 12.5mg stablon remaining from my first prescription .. could they help in any way?
poster:vic80
thread:937868
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20100216/msgs/937925.html