Posted by bulldog2 on January 18, 2010, at 17:45:26
In reply to pity party at my house: three day remission over, posted by floatingbridge on January 18, 2010, at 16:04:48
> Header: if you dislike whining, please don't read.
>
> God knows why. For 3-4 days, I woke up and felt o.k. Like, really, who was that depressed, f'd-up, neurotic person? It was really weird. Carpe Diem, I thought. I'll take it.
>
> This morning upon awakening, the flooding back of futility, the fatigue, the aches, the inability to counter any negative thought, the haunted house. What's the f'n point?
>
> I know so many of you soldier on, year after year. I hesitate to whine. In my own quiet way, I march along, too. After feeling unexpectedly good, this feels cruel. What can I expect? How can I plan a life never knowing how I'll feel? And now the fr*gg'n exhaustion. At my age, what are the chances of healing? Bulldog mentioned in another thread, (paraphrased) when does one just have to come to acceptance?
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> Anyone who has read this, please don't judge me too harshly for whining. And for the heavy use of rhetorical questions. I need a hand to hold. Any one free today?Go ahead and whine you have a right to. I believe you also suffered from childhood ptsd complex? From what I've read in the above link by kayla there is permanent damgage. This is a disease to be managed like diabetes. With meds and therapy you can improve the quality of your life. Like any disability, acceptance will make you feel better. This is who we are. Yes you have to be tough like a soldier and learn to trudge along. Some days will be better than others. If you have a bad day don't dispair because tomorrow might bring a better day. But I have long stopped believing that one day i will wake up and be just like any normal person whatever that is. Learn to be tough and resiliant because there still is pleasure and fun at times. But also you must learn to live with the pain. So think and feel like a soldier in a war. When they can they drink a glass of wine or smoke a cigarrete. Make love when they can. But also learn to live with shells and bullets raining on them at times. Be tough and courageous for this is our destiny.
poster:bulldog2
thread:934207
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20100113/msgs/934243.html