Posted by g_g_g_unit on January 10, 2010, at 16:30:43
In reply to Re: ADD/OCD+perfectionism+med choices-plz help(long), posted by mtdewcmu on January 10, 2010, at 11:12:00
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> If therapy is helping you, then you ought to stick with it. That is, unless the cost is more than you can afford. (There's no way I could afford it.)sorry to hear that. i wouldn't normally be able to afford it, but i receive assistance from the government. i also use a service which has a sliding-scale arrangement.
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> > what's most difficult is trying to ascertain why the perfectionism was aroused in the first place; in my case, the perfectionism has graduated to full-borne OCD - no doubt about that - but the underlying condition feels more vague.
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> > i was wondering if anyone can maybe quantify whether any of this sounds familiar, and might be more an outgrowth of OCD or ADD. prior to the OCD fully taking root at around 18, in high school i demonstrated the following problems:
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> > - great ease in 'hands on' subjects like mathematics, where my attention was constantly occupied. i was excellent with detail, but often unable to see the 'bigger picture' - for example, i could memorize large passages of information with ease, but often failed to intuit the core ideas behind them.
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> > - feeling extremely lost when instructions on how to perform a task weren't clearly delineated. if i didn't know what was 'wanted from me', i found it hard to take initiative and act.
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> I have had this problem at my jobs. I have come to see it as a combination of an inability to concentrate fully on a task due to anxiety and depression, and the lack of energy and enthusiasm for the task due to depression. I used to be employed as a computer programmer, but it required too much concentration. I ended up having to quit, because it was clear that the issues weren't going away.
these problems existed prior to the onset of any anxiety/depression issues; they were occurring in high school, so i consider them innate problems.
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> > unfortunately, i've become so reliant on that perfectionistic 'inner voice', that i often feel lost acting without it.
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> I think I know what you mean. In myself, I see this as being preoccupied with my inner state due to depression. When I am less depressed, I can focus on something outside myself.i've always felt that way, though - the feeling that i'm constantly monitoring myself in everything i do. certain medications erase that critical voice (for the first time in my life), and disinhibit me to an extent, which can be really disorientating
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> > my therapist and i have tried to work out more logical goals for me to attempt to undertake. my family is moving to a new country soon, which means that i need to prioritize. at this point, my former line of work as a freelance writer is causing too much grief (due to too much freedom afforded) for me to really pursue it as a realistic career. so in that sense, i think it might be better to return to university in order to undertake an honor's/masters in an area that might allow me to get a normal job. i also suffer from pretty crippling social anxiety, so feel like that side of things needs to be taken care of.
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> You may want to look for something that requires less decision-making and personal initiative, unless you are hopeful that you can conquer your anxiety and depression.i suffer from dysthymia with bouts of atypical depression, though i feel like the depression etc. takes a backseat to OCD overall. i don't think getting the depression under control should be too difficult overall; it's a matter of whether i can stick with a treatment. and i'm still relatively young, so i'd like to capitalize on what i have now.
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> I think you are trying to slice up your problem into excessively small pieces and trying to treat each one individually. I think that you could re-envision all of your symptoms as manifestations of depression and anxiety, and treat them all with antidepressants. From what you have written on this board, I don't think you have given SSRIs a fair chance to work.social anxiety is a concrete problem for me, and something that i feel requires attention. i did give Luvox a full 8-week trial, and found myself more depressed than i began with. it made social interaction incredibly difficult for me. Prozac seemed better, and i don't really understand why i was taken off it - doesn't the initial insomnia pass?
poster:g_g_g_unit
thread:933106
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20100103/msgs/933164.html