Posted by Vincent_QC on December 24, 2009, at 8:47:18
Hi Everyone!
I wish to everyone a merry Christmas, since it's tomorrow ;-)Forgive me for the bad english... I do my best as usual ;-)
This is the meds I use now...
8mg/day of Rivotril (Clonazepam)
and sometimes I cut my Rivotril to 4mg and add 4mg of Ativan...
I try to always take my benzo meds at the same time with a gaps of 2 hours between each dose, I don't take any dose at nightime...I keep the benzos meds for daytime...
Too bad, benzos meds are not working anymore. The Rivotril is not effective at all and the Ativan at more than 4mg a day just make me act like an idiot, I forget things and it's worsing my anxiety overall because I feel completly disoriented on it...
Now i'm dealing with the biggest panic disorder period of my life and a very high level of anticipatory anxiety who make me completly unable to be functional in my life. Just drive the car or stay alone in the house will increase my anxiety to the point that I feel like I will die, even if I know that it's just anxiety... If I get out of the house, I feel bad all the time and only think about "how I will be able to drive the car to return home"... so i'm not having fun at all with the peoples around me...
I'm having a permanent head pain with constant burning eyes, red eyes, I feel out of my body, lighthead, I have a lot of dizness (not related to orthostatic hypotension), dilated pupils, i'm very sensitive to the lights, especially when I do a task who need all my concentration (probably too much adrenaline???), my blood pressure is not stable, sometimes very high (above the 170/100) and sometimes slowler (120/70) with fast pulse rate.
I always have a headache or migraine who is located near the temples on the head, near the ears, sometimes it's only on one side of the head, sometimes on the 2 sides and the pain tend to start on the temples and end in the neck. I have also jaw pain...
I also have numbness of the chest and arms most of the time. I have intestinal pain, gas, constipation and stomach upset, especially when I have to get out of the house...
I do insomnia, and at daytime I lack of energy, I always napping and it's hard to get motivated and take a shower and get dress since most of the time, doing those task is making me so tired that I start a panic attack in the shower and at night, if i'm going out of the house, I will feel very tired and anxious.
The last time I see the PDoc (7 december), he wanted me to be on the Paxil again since it was effective this summer for my panic disorder... but with a lot of side-effects who last all the times I was on it... that's why I stop it back in october...
Anyway, I try to start again the paxil at 10mg/day. I had a complete different reaction then the one I had this summer. I was hyperactive, not able to stay sit for 2 minutes. I had insomnia and an increase anxiety and I was not able to cope with those side-effects at all. I also had more intense migraines and headache... and the headpain was 100 times worse than before I start again the Paxil...
So I decrease the dose of Paxil to 5mg the second day and I felt the same. So I decrease it again at 2.5 the third day and I felt the same!!! I stay at 2.5mg for a whole week and the side-effects never fade away... at the end of the week I was so tired and anxious that I had to stop it totally.
I call my PDoc 2 days ago like he wanted too, and told him that the Paxil and the Ativan was not good at all for me... I told him that my state was worse than the last time I see him.
He only say that he canno't RX another med by phone and that I will have to wait until the 12 january to see what will be the next med... He say to take more Ativan... Hummm I think he's not listening to me since I just told him that the Ativan was worsing my cognitives abilities!!! Anyway...
So until I see him again, I will stay on this high anticipatory anxiety state with the f*ck*ng panic disorder problem... Not very interresting for the Christmas time...
I don't know what to do for now... 3 weeks of wating in that state for me is like 3 years...
I try to start the Remeron again, 2 weeks ago, since I had some 15mg pills of rapid dissolution Remeron somewhere in my bedroom... I took it for 2 weeks... didn't notice any good effect for my anxiety, it was just good to put me asleep for 4 hours in a row...and of course I start eating like a pig while I was taking it... but nothing else...
I have some Neurontin pills and some Lyrica pills left on... I wonder if it can be good for my panic disorder problem??? The Neurontin normally only give niddles and pins effects on me...and the Lyrica is somewhat the same...
I wonder witch SSRI I should try next???
Since it's seem that I react differently to the meds now, should I ask for the Zoloft, the Celexa or the Cipralex (Lexapro in the USA)???
I had some interresting results on the Effexor-XR 5 years ago, but at the time I didn't had panic disorder problem, just social anxiety... The Nardil or any other old meds are not an option for me now... With the high anticipatory anxiety state i'm leaving now, I will not be able to start those meds (TCA's or MAOI's especially)...
The only meds I never try is the Lamictal and the abilify...both of them are not RX off-label for panic disorder anyway...
So what to do?
And also, how I can succeed to decrease my anxiety level? I try the relaxation tips, the breathing technics... I just can't relax... I feel like i'm doing a panic attack 24 hours a day!!!
Some help will be really appreciate, since I feel lost now...
Thanks everyone!!!
poster:Vincent_QC
thread:930683
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20091217/msgs/930683.html