Posted by Katgirl on December 2, 2009, at 10:19:06
OK, I'm having a horrible sleep week this week, probably because I just went through a bad spell less than a week ago, but mostly because I'm out of wack with this cold/flu type virus and can't meditate/exercise like I usually do.
I would be fine if my not sleeping was simply insomnia. But that isn't what happens to me. I lie down to go to sleep, and if I fall asleep within the first hour I'm fine. If I don't I start having what I can only describe as "body shocks". Feels kind of like an explosion in my chest. Unless I get up and sit up, they will continue about every 15-20 minutes, and eventually my limbs can start "seizing". The odd thing is, there is no emotional content to this. Meaning, there is no terror or dread like what happens in a panic attack. (I learned to stop panic attacks with CBT. These episodes seem immune to CBT). By the morning, however, I am wrecked because of having so much adrenaline poured into my system all night. I actually used to have this nightly until I started sleeping somewhat propped up (which is good for my GERD anyway, so its a win/win). Then it seemed like I was more likely to have an episode when I worried about having them. (If I tried to make plans with someone, I would worry about having a bad night and not being able to follow through with the plans and thus, give myself a bad night.) But quite often they would just happen for no reason I could point to. ie no extra stress or worry. But now they seem to be happening more frequently. (But admitedly I have had a lot more stress this fall)
I have a new GP and I talked to her about it and she pretty much said its your anxiety, here take an SSRI. Then I tried to explain my rather complicated psych history and why I can't take an SSRI and I could just tell from the look on her face that she is never going to take me seriously!
Anyway, I think she is probably right, it probably is just my anxiety. But the seizing thing is weird.I could deal with this when it happend once a week or so, but I've been dealing with this 3 of the last four nights, and its getting really really old. I feel like I'm being attacked by my own body.
Thanks for listening, sorry this isn't the most positive post! K
poster:Katgirl
thread:927808
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20091127/msgs/927808.html