Posted by rjlockhart04-08 on November 19, 2009, at 23:21:54
1)Drinking Alcohol - you know when people know that you drink, it's just to soothe and relax reality, which is good, but also other substances would be in that catagory, but if a person needs a medication say for pain, or attnetion problems, anxiety that affect's normal functioning morally I think that's ok because if it's going to help then it's fine, but if you misuse it it's gonna be known, and the first thing is alcohol once you misuse it, your gonna misuse something else, just in my reality. But I want to change some mindset's to cancel out addictive thinking.
Yet, see there's 3 chances and after 3 chances people don't trust you, and say move on. When i'm trying to improve, i need alot of chances, and sometimes I just do "dim-witted" things that later I hate myself for, and say "ugh, who is that person?" - alot of motivatation things to improve make me just...ugh stop being so enthusastic because life is what it is. The knowing of getting on to a path that you want your life, your subcousious is going to act on it. When I was going to acting studio, my life was good, what I did was I just randomly called a 1411 number and said "where's an acting studio?" I went there and acted on what was in the back of my head, because that's something I alway's wanted. When you have "it's not gonna happen" it's like a danmation, or eternal suffering in my perspective. Like right now, the right medication for focus is not here, and there is adversity against it. Yet the truth is that it helped, and improved many functions that I lack in because there is something not stimulated in the brain, which amphetamine correct's.See...I want the whole truth to shown: It's hard for me to handle life, because I see alot of people functioning fine in mental function's, the medication that helped and the only successful medication where dextroamphetamine spansules, A co-dependecy in an idleness state, i've tried to get out but saving up to get my own place...it's just "impossible" because of the things I was taught, or my own descions to stay at home. Many people wake up and go to work every morning, and my dreams where to be an actor, make it, yet just mentally I could not handle it with alot of things going on, especially the adversity at home. The knowing of success created a hate, or bitterness that still is here.
The fact of the matter: To all who have said I'm done with you: I want to say this: thank you for your advice, because I want to be with you soon. The joy that I had with my family was great, it was harmony but there where choices that I made that destroyed that "innocent" image, it went "crash". So, here I am today, things are slowly going along and It's going to look like a long time till a get my own place because I never want to live off anyone, because that's a burden.
Just, that's all I have to say. And I thank you for all your time you spent with giving advice, things are coming along and I ask for forgiveness for any anger that I caused in the past.
To the best...I love yall.
rj
poster:rjlockhart04-08
thread:926278
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20091117/msgs/926278.html