Posted by zonked on November 3, 2009, at 21:29:39
Hi all:
I can scarcely believe I have the energy to make this post. So, remember a few months ago, when things were swinging along OK and I was finally on an *almost* fully remissive dose of Parnate?
The "permanent" psychiatrist I was assigned to decided that 30mg of Parnate was "way too high", after seeing me once, and instructed me to taper down to 30. Well, guess what. I just spent TWO WEEKS in the loony bin from suicidal depression after that taper--and the doctor in the hospital wouldn't raise my Parnate back up! (I think it has more to do with doctors not wanting to step on each others' toes, not what's good for the patient.)
I am on 30mg a day, still, which believe me is better than nothing. But I am anhedonic, apathetic, teary-eyed much of the day, and just generally in lousy shape. After much complaining I am finally going to see a new doctor who supposedly still prescribes MAOIs to some of his patients--that's this Thursday. If I meet one more "cautious" or "conservative" doctor I am going to pull my hair out!!! When I had private insurance, my doctor did what he thought was best for me and took into account my input (and guess what, I stayed well for a _long_ time.)
I am suffering so bad I am doing everything I can to stay out of the hospital until my appointment - and it's only two days away! If it weren't for the Ativan they gave me in the hospital.. (yes, that's right, Ativan, not Xanax--which has less side effects for me, but that's another story...)
I know this sounds crazy, but sometimes I swear to god I don't need the &$(#%&$#&* doctors! I know my own body well enough and have done my homework regarding psychopharmacology. I am tired of them thinking they know better and making me sick when I was well, or keeping me from getting better...
Man, you know? My mom has cancer, and I don't know how much time I have left with her--she can't handle me depressed (and I don't blame her either) and I really don't have time to be toyed with by clinicians who think they know better...
wish me luck eh?
zonked
poster:zonked
thread:924357
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20091029/msgs/924357.html