Posted by CareBear04 on October 13, 2009, at 0:22:43
I went to a new pdoc looking for help with OCD-type issues and left with a script for Vyvanse. I got the feeling that he would have pushed it on me whether or not I expressed any need for it. I might have given the impression that some of my evening studying is not as productive as it could be since the Adderall XR wears off, but for the most part, I haven't been worried about my concentration. He had me take two tests, one an ADHD screening that I've taken countless times before and the second for OCD. I was actually surprised by how many of the items I checked under both obsessions and compulsions and I think he was too. When I handed it back, he just looked at it and said something to the extent of, "Wow, you do have a lot of things to deal with."
It's true--I've received many diagnoses, some formal and others more like observations, and I've stopped looking for names to describe what I experience. I'm most definitely bipolar, but everything else could be many things or parts of the same thing. I get panicky at times but usually just have chronic anxiety and, at this point, I'm so hooked on benzos that pdocs have resigned themselves to my being on them for life. Then there's the ADHD and OCD, and I wonder whether they're actually one complex problem. I know I just said that labels obscure more than they clarify, but can one person really have so many different disorders?
But more importantly I guess, I am hoping that people might have suggestions about how to mitigate the problem, whatever it might be called. My obsessiveness has gotten to the point that I'm unable to get anything done, to make decisions, or be very productive at all. Though countless doctors have tried countless meds to address most of the problems, but the one that has been consistently neglected is the obsessiveness. The one time I had relief was when I was put on Zoloft (for depression) and the difference was amazing. I felt like I could think clearly, make decisions, and for the first time, I was able to finish papers and exams with time to spare, turn them in, and move on. Then I was switched to Prozac for some reason (maybe because it's more activating?) and I've never had that clarity again. And the Prozac made me manic. Before Zoloft, I'd been on Lexapro and Paxil, and I've also been on Cymbalta. In part, maybe the obsessivenss hasn't received attention because I've moved around so much, moving from city to city and pdoc to pdoc. I asked my last pdoc to try, but instead of Zoloft, she insisted on Luvox since it seems to be the gold standard. But it, too, made me manic, and it also didn't seem to work. I went back on lithium, but I'm not supposed to take it long-term because I have some kidney problems and have gotten dialysis toxic several times. I didn't mention this to the pdoc today and purposely played down the mania. I gave the Luvox a try for maybe 6-8 weeks, but I had no relief, plus I was breaking out and seemed to be gaining weight. So I stopped taking it... and eventually, I stopped going to that pdoc.
I've been out of the new medication loop for awhile, so I don't know if there's anything new. But I suspect not since it doesn't seem like drug companies find it very profitable to invest in R&D for meds specifically for OCD. Why not? Maybe it's also true that pdocs tend to follow the meds, and since there haven't been new tools to get at OCD, they have little interest in trying. But for me right now, it's a very real and debilitating problem. Does anyone have any suggestions? Would really appreciate any insight or experiences.
Thanks!
CB
poster:CareBear04
thread:920753
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20091012/msgs/920753.html