Posted by zarathustra on September 20, 2009, at 1:08:41
In reply to Re: Dexedrine advice needed re: tolerance + addiction » zarathustra, posted by Phillipa on September 19, 2009, at 10:23:52
Thank you Philipa, I am not sure what for though. I didnt understand what you meant when you said "May I ask how you manage to work feeling so horrible?", but whatever it means, you somehow made me feel like I am not alone that you know and can feel my pain. Its hard when I try and talk to people or reach out for help and understanding, only to be belittled, have my problems minimized, or looked at like I am speaking a foreign language. Maybe they just dont understand me. Compounding the fact that I have ADD and social anxiety disorder, I have been deemed "gifted" and very smart...I am a master of finding ways to rationalize my negative emotions. I dont say "gifted" with pride, I dropped out of high=school, I am awkward and shy, I feel like my friends and family are ashamed of me, I am a failure ugly and repulsive,
WOW, I am sorry, I will stop now, I just realized what I am doing right now, I am focusing on the negative. however its all I know, therefore its true...I have a bad case of I think therefore I am. Anyways I am not sure of my point here, but I guess there is no harm in sharing my thoughts as they cant fall on deaf ears forever. I wish I could just stop thinking so much. Stop deconstructing everything positive into atoms and molecules. Goodnight.
poster:zarathustra
thread:917650
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20090912/msgs/917753.html