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Re: Scott-quick question on lithium-Good to hear » alchemy

Posted by SLS on August 17, 2009, at 18:52:54

In reply to Re: Scott-quick question on lithium-Good to hear » SLS, posted by alchemy on August 17, 2009, at 18:05:10

> > I can attest to the destructive power that depression has over motivation. When I have had brief antidepressant responses, I had no problems initiating activities....
> > Motivation/Interest/Energy are lost to this illness. Just how much PUSHING should one person expect of another when the other person is severely depressed? ...
> >
> > I think it helps to think of the various types and severities of depressions in terms of thresholds of functionality...
> > I am tired of PUSHING.
> >
> "Pushing" is a good way to say it. I have said "make myself". And making myself do things can be depressing as well. At times I have made myself get on the treadmill & it makes me feel worse because of how miserable I am when jogging/walking. I am semi-functional but even today the strain of "pushing", getting out & still being depressed made me think of looking up how many pills to end life. 25 years with little progress sure takes a toll.
> I am tired of pushing and dealing with this brain. Trying to make it through the day, but then it begins again.

I wish I could do something to make things easier for you. I lost my magic wand years ago.

> Scott, does the lithium still help you?

Maybe. To my pleasant surprise, I felt better than I should have today. That means that something is tickling the right places. I had an initial robust response when I first started lithium beginning at 300mg. When that disappeared, I increased the dosage to 600mg. Again, I experienced a brief response that disappeared. Unfortunately, I felt somewhat washed out and experienced tremulousness. I then decided to reduce back to 300mg with the intention of staying on it indefinitely. I would say that I perceived a slight improvement over the last few weeks. However, this morning was different. I felt significantly better than I would have normally. I can't help but to feel optimistic again.

> What is your diagnosis?

Bipolar depression with infrequent drug-induced manias. I had been an ultra rapid cycler (8 days down and 3 days up) for a number of years before my first battle with lithium. Lithium stopped the cycling, but left me severely depressed. I subsequently stayed away from lithium for years.


- Scott

 

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