Posted by floatingbridge on June 30, 2009, at 13:08:49
I have terrible fatigue. It was incapacitating 4 months ago. Now that I have some flu-thing, and am off dexadrine, it's back.
Yesterday my pdoc/therapist counseled strongly against getting an adrenal spit test. I saw my new holistic doctor later that afternoon (to get my spit test), and burst into tears. (She wasn't very helpful.)
I don't know what to do and am feeling pretty desperate and depressed. My son is 5--this is a magic year; it was supposed to be a good summer, and I'm just sick all the time now. I don't know what is wrong with me, and my life is passing by. I don't want to live like this.
My pdoc gave me dexadrine, which I responded well to. He doesn't have a problem giving me some form of stimulant. I feel, in my paradigm, a stimulant is like overdrawing at the bank. He doesn't feel this way. He says it's a symptom of my depression. (BTW, I think he's a good pdoc.) I just don't understand and feel caught between alternative and western.
He's away for the next two weeks. I'm on provigil which seems to be, now that I am so upset, fueling the dysphoria. Too tired to throw myself in front of a car, or run down the street screaming, but just like they are passing thoughts.
In the western paradigm, does this mean I need a stimulant my entire life?
BTW, I've been to two docs because I am running a low grade temp. for more than two weeks now, and they seemed bloody unconcerned. Yesterday I had to insist to the holistic doctor that I get a blood test (white blood cells). The only one who has called and insisted I press the doctors is my pdoc who thinks I may have viral pnemonia. I thought, if you go to an MD and said you were sick, they did something.
I'd love someone address the stimulant/ depression thing.
For those of you who have read his far, thank you for listening.
FB
poster:floatingbridge
thread:903977
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20090630/msgs/903977.html