Posted by sam K on June 3, 2009, at 22:54:57
In reply to IM FREE, posted by sam K on June 3, 2009, at 0:12:26
well i tell you what i went out for the first time in a long time and was my self. It was great, my freinds and everything. They are interesting and i love em. All of them are different. I had a great day.
It was kind of unhealthy, but who cares lol. My friends eat alot of fast food. Plus, dont judge, we got bored and went to a hookah bar. I was nervous about the whole idea since I didnt know if it was going to make me real anxious or not. But neway, it was so freaking relaxing and just was awesome. I told my friends about everything, struggles and all and basically all the stuff ive been sort of sheilding away from them.
anyway thats the last time i think ill do the hookah thing. But anyway best day ever!!I dont think its really a secret or anything, i saw this coming with myself. I knew i was getting better but im really impatient. I figured out something psychologically about myself that just blew me away and from that point Ive been much better. I figured out I am a controlling person, hence my social anxiety and eating disorder, substance abuse past, compulsive lying.
Social anxiety to me is just a simple control issue (sorry if you disagree). social phobics need to control peoples opinions, and they cant so they get super overwhelmed. Thats why social phobics like animals alot, because they can control the opinion of the dog/cat. Because the animals cant talk so we dont feel anxious around them.
And substance abuse is another control issue, people have to use a substance to bring out a false self so they can control peoples opinions. They need a substance to make them talkative and "happy" so they can trick people and hide their true self because they are ashamed. But really they shouldnt be ashamed because they are great people, but they have a disorder.
I mean just finding this out is insane, its like another enlightenment. Im finally making the progress ive wanted to for a year or years now.And hey i reccomend this. I found it looking up control on google. Its a good one.
http://www.easycalm.com/?hop=cffshpgrlBut hey this is a really deep issue so I mean Idk if everyone is going to understand.
I know when I first had an eating disorder and social phobia, a psychiatrist gave me a book about OCD and i didnt understand. And my therapist said stuff about control too. I didnt even understand at the time. So obviously some people wont see it in themselves.Anyway good luck and love u all
poster:sam K
thread:899163
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20090531/msgs/899310.html