Posted by ihatedrugs on May 29, 2009, at 20:35:01
Hello all,
It has been 21 years later since my first attempt to treat my depression via the medication route. I have tried pretty much everything. There have been moments of improvement but for the most part I can't say I am not the same happy, and super optimistic person I used to be except for the periodical visit from the beast, every two years or so. I also used to be so fit and people considered me very pretty. Now I am 50 lbs overweight, which makes me look old and makes feel tired and on top of that still don't feel any better since starting meds, if anything I feel worst.
Is this all there is? Twenty years is quite a long time to be trying to find something that works. I get so excited each time a new med comes out because I think this is the one. But in all honesty, I am beginning to give up all hope; and resign myself to a life of mental anguish and misery.
I have tried so hard. I have been a good wife and mother. I have even managed to send both my kids to great colleges, one of them to MIT. But none of this means anything when my heart is in such pain and my mind wants to run away to another place that is not my body.
I know there are many of us out there and some of you are in worse condition than me. For this, I apologize, because you should be the one complaining and not me.
I guess I just wanted to let this out because it is consuming me, and my family like I'm sure some of yours is getting tired of the same ole' story.
Sorry for the nonsense.
ihatedrugs
poster:ihatedrugs
thread:898348
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20090524/msgs/898348.html