Posted by sam K on May 3, 2009, at 23:48:31
I hope someone reads this
I trully think that my eating disorder is reaking havok on my recovery. I remember right as the anorexia started. I still dont know why it happened. Maybe I finally felt in control of my life and thought I could finally get what I want. Thats what it looked like for a while.
Its almost the oppisite. I honestly dont know what happened.
Ill tell you something deep and i usually dont get this deep.
The eating disorder appeared almost instantly after I acheived what I now know is "enlightenment", "awakened", I can't think of any others. I was suffering very very badly at the time. I was 15 or 16 and I was sent away to Utah (I live in ohio), to rehab/bootcamp type stuff. I was sent away because I was doing so many illegal drugs. But that went sour very fast, my drug use escalated and I got my hands on LSD/acid. The day I did it was terrible. I woke up that morning diseased. I had terrible depression and anxiety from that point on. I became sucidal and saw a doctor and was put on meds. It was a failure. I quit going to school and thats when I was shipped away.
But anyway, I really think once Im over the eating disorder I will trully finally be on the right path. I will finally be able to take meds without worry so much about wieght.
poster:sam K
thread:894157
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20090426/msgs/894157.html