Posted by Zillhouse on April 23, 2009, at 4:00:24
Hi all. First let me just say, I've been reading these posts for a quite some time and it never ceases to amaze me what a great bunch of people you are. Everyone that contributes to this site is doing a huge service for people out in the world. I for one haven't posted here once (until now), but I have garnered so much from all of your experiences and insight. Each and every one of you. So thank you.
The reason I'm posting now is because I've run into a fairly large snag.
Here's the back story. Skip to the question at the end if you don't feel like reading. In 2001 I was diagnosed with anxiety disorder, for which I was prescribed Paxil. It made a world of difference, it literally pulled me out of the depths of hell. But of course, as many of you can attest, I got tired of the side effects (specifically sexual/tiredness) and decided to come off. Thus beginning my yo-yo trip through AD land.
So on and off of Paxil for 2 years, couldn't seem to stick with it. Then a try at Effexor, not a good experience...then paxil again...Then the switch to Lexapro...then the addition of Wellbutrin. Lex and Well was the combo that lasted the longest about 3 years or up until 2008. Still the side effects made it hard to stay on the drugs (terrible sexual side effects, mental slowing, overall lameness and the such).
So April of last year I went to a new Pdoc, and was almost immediately prescribed Lithium. He said he thought there was a slight mood disorder. It didn't seem to do much, but make me really thirsty, tired, and queasy. After about 3 months of that, I went to the Amen Clinic, where I was put through a series of tests, which basically said I had Depression, Anxiety, possible PTSD and possible OCD (not in that order). I was put on Lamictal, which I tried for about 3 weeks and then junked due to my pdoc's request (nausea, itching, fogginess). this led me to the decision to say screw you to all medications.
Dropped the Lithium,
Then dropped the Lexapro,
Was only on 300mg of Wellbutrin xl, then finally in Feb of this year stopped all meds. I felt great for a while, then the decent into hell began.
On 3/20/09 went back on 150mg Wellbutrin xl with as needed 0.5mg Ativan. Finally I Broke down, had to take a leave from my job and found a new pdoc. On 4/6 we talked, and we decided I should go back to Paxil.
Here's where I need your help, I took the first dose 10mg Paxil at 10pm on 4/6. By 12am I felt like I was on ecstasy, Everything was amazing, I couldn't sleep so I put on some headphones and flew to the moon. I just kept having the most incredible thoughts. I wanted to get out of my bed in the dark and start dancing. The next day, I didn't feel so well, but sure enough at 10pm I took my next 10mg pill and rocked again. Because I couldn't sleep, I decided it would be best to take the paxil in the morning. So sure enough, I skipped the next dose, and waited until the following morning. That's when things turned bad. From that day forward my new paxil experience has become horrible. I've been extremely anxious, can't leave the house, my eyes have been so dilated it looks like I have black irises. I would even go as far as to say I've had suicidal thoughts (will not act on them, not to worry). On 4/15 I increased the dose to 20mg, but this seemed to make things worse. I litterally couldn't get out of my bed in the morning. Head was spinning the worst thoughts, and I'm absolutely terrified of the world. So on 4/18 I bumped the med back down to 10mg, still way too much. Finally on 4/21 I split the pill in half and tried 5mg. This seemed to easy the tension a bit, this evening I did the same thing, and I'm feeling a bit better.
For those that read, should I keep trying the med, or should I get on something different? I'm pretty lost here.
For those that didn't read (I understand, I hate reading too) Is there anything out there that just deals with anxiety and doesn't effect sexuality at all?
Sorry this was so long.
Thanks
Zill
poster:Zillhouse
thread:892277
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20090416/msgs/892277.html