Posted by rvanson on April 9, 2009, at 21:58:57
In reply to My life so far...what should I do?, posted by Dima on April 4, 2009, at 13:42:26
> Sorry if this post is kind of long, I feel like all details should be accounted for. So I am an 18 year old male. Pretty much as long as I can remember, I haven't been genuinely happy. Maybe for brief periods due to great circumstances, but in general, my outlook on life has been bleak.
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> Also, I have some irrational fears, which I am just recently beginning to think may be anxiety. First, I get nervous and anxious when I have to talk to someone. Anyone. I fear not knowing what to say to keep the conversation going, and most of the conversation is spent with my mind racing trying to think of topics. I am fine in front of large crowds. If a speech is prepared beforehand, I could probably say it in front of a thousand people, with little problem. Second, and a lot more weird and embarrasing, I have a fear of being gay. I have not been attracted to males, and have certainly been attracted to females, yet every time the thought crosses my mind, my stomach does a somersault. I have nothing against gays, and do not feel there is anything wrong with living that way, but I have a huge fear of one day waking up and realizing that I am in fact gay. For a perfect future, I see myself living happily with a great girlfriend.
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> At the beginning of 2009, I decided to finally see a doctor. I went to my family doctor, who quickly prescribed Paxil 20mg and sent me on my way. I took it for three days, but the insane drowsiness and sexual side effects were too much too bear.
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> I scheduled an appointment with a real psychiatrist. First I went to two therapy sessions, which seemed extremely pointless and it seemed that we were both just saying things to fill the hour time slot.
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> After that, I was scheduled to see another doctor there, who prescribed Wellbutrin SR 150mg. Well, Budeprion, which I've read can be quite different. I took it for a week, but I had to stop because of a never ending feeling of a lump in my throat and my mouth constantly filling with saliva. I saw the doctor again, and she decided to try the XL version. She gave me a prescription for the 150mg pills, and said after about two weeks, go ahead and take two per day.
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> I've been on the Budeprion XL for about three weeks, and just started taking two pills per day three days ago. The three weeks have been like a rollercoaster of moods, and I don't know if it's the drug or I'm just attributing how I normally feel to it. Some days I feel good. Not great, but good. At those times all I think is that this drug is perfect, and to keep at it. Other days, like today, I feel horrible. Nothing worse than it was before the drug, but still not what I was looking forward to. If I realize the drug is not working, I plan on trying brand-name before any other drug, because of the many reports of differences I've read.
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> Recently, I found information about Buspirone, which seems like a possibility if Wellbutrin doesn't work. I assume that maybe the depression is only there because of the irrational fears.Wellbutrin is called "Bupropion" as a generic.
Buspirone is a good idea for an add-on med, but it's more for anxiety then depression. However its worth a try. Thhe side effects were not too bad for me but it didnt do anything for me.
poster:rvanson
thread:888657
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20090408/msgs/889751.html