Posted by X_ander on March 24, 2009, at 11:15:27
In reply to Re: Treatment for emotional numbness??? » X_ander, posted by JadeKelly on March 19, 2009, at 21:25:21
Seeing my pdoc in a few hours...will find out more then. I dunno about ritalin, it's like it works for me for a couple hours one day, then the next it's just physical jitters or something. I dunno what i'm getting. It's like it's teasing me...Tolerance??
So I dunno what to say tomorrow. Truth is ritalin has the ability to help more than the other meds I have tried...but it does it only some of the time. Usually after I've taken a break from it to see what i'm like without it....which makes me think I'm developing a tolerance over a few days. Or maybe it's tolerance to the caffeine I augment with, I usually break from that too.
Ritalin without caffeine doesn't lift me too much. It kind of zones me out...which is weird for a stimulant I would have thought.
As for MAOI augmentation. I'd love to find a doc like yours Jade, Australia is like where all the conservative psychs chose to live. To have a pro-active pdoc who just has that no way my patient is gonna be depressed attitude would be such a weight off my shoulders.
My current doc has often accused me of subconsciously benefiting from the depression, hence why I don't come out of it. The secondary benefits theory it was called. I mean f*#k what do you say to that. It's subconscious so there's no "conscious" argument to it. All I say is it's completely, absolutely, without exception, wrong. But my pdoc is stubborn. So when it comes down to it, I don't feel I can trust the docs in my country to do the job. Which is why I'm here most of the time!! I have thought about going to the US...but yeah that would be a big move for no guaranteed return. But like you say, everything is risky (well expensive as you actually put it..but same thing)...ugh I dunno what to do.
I tell the truth, probably takes me off it, as didn't want me on it to begin with. It was just cos I wouldn't let up about it, like saying fine take it, but it's not gonna work, you watch. And the pdoc would be right...it's not working, but it shows that it can work..when it wants to..and then stops to give me a bunch of extra depression and "physical" anxiety (jitters heartrate etc.) upon the come down.
I just don't know. I know you can't make decisions for me, and without a pdoc as described earlier I don't have the confidence to go about it on my own (MAOI augmentation etc..). Anyway I'm just venting/letting you know where things are. Your thoughts are most welcome.
luv to all Xander.
poster:X_ander
thread:865523
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20090322/msgs/886807.html