Posted by bleauberry on March 1, 2009, at 17:15:12
In reply to Gonna bug u all till ur exhausted w/ me ..., posted by Fivefires on February 28, 2009, at 19:57:56
Most important...((((HUGS))))from me.
I've been there. Still always teetering on the edge, but not in that aweful place stuck in doom anymore. I am not at all suggesting this to you, only sharing my story that when I started to feel a bit of hope and recovery and see a little light was when I started a long 3 month journey of weaning off all my meds cautiously.
We never, or hardly ever, consider the obvious. That is, the very meds we are taking are making us worse. Face it, it happens. It happens a lot. Just because certain meds can be miracles for others doesn't mean they won't be disasters for others.
I am disappointed that when Nardil was given up they didn't switch you to Parnate.
Go up the page to a thread called "a GREAT article on MAOIs" posted by djmmm. In that doctor's summation is a boatload of hope intended for you.
At other forums people have found Parnate to be an excellent anti-anxiety as well, and that when it wasn't, 2mg or less of Klonopin was the magic.
All I can really say about meds in your case is that you are on the wrong ones. You are far worse than you were, and to me looking in from the outside, some of it can probably be blamed on the disease itself but a large portion of it is to blame on the doctor's choices of meds. They need to be carefully ditched and replaced with an entirely new med strategy. My opinion.
When someone deteriorates badly under the care of a doctor, logic also says you gotta get a second and third opinion and see different doctors. This doctor is killing you. I'm more blunt than most people, and I would have no problem looking him straight in the eyes and saying, "I was in a lot better shape before you put me on these meds. Your med choices have destroyed what little life and hope I had. I either need to see you turn on some expertise if you are holding back on it, or refer me to someone more talented."
This will sound way out in left field, but I'm serious. Get someone to give you a challenge trial of antibiotics, specifically tetracylcine. See what happens. If you get even worse than you are, your doctors are barking up the wrong tree. You've got Lyme, something Lyme-like, or some unknown chronic pathogenic infection. Those things have very serious psychiatric symptoms that respond very well to certain antibiotics, even though treatment is blind without diagnostic confirmation, and high dose psych drugs. For example, one lady responding to antibiotics for a suspected Bartonella infection needed 60mg Lexapro. A few weeks later the antibiotic had killed most of the psych-causing symptoms and she was maintained on just 5mg Lexapro, and she had returned to 90% of her complete mental health. This is an extremely overlooked area and in your case warrants a strong investigation and even warrants blind treatment.
One thing for sure. When we are "stuck", the only way to get out is to "move". In my case, similar to yours, I did the movements starting from a clean slate with new meds and changing doctors. Just doing something, anything, moving forward, is a good move. Don't let anyone keep you stuck any longer. Please.
(((HUGS)))
poster:bleauberry
thread:883132
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20090223/msgs/883268.html