Posted by Connor on January 28, 2009, at 10:13:10
In reply to Re: Long Term SSRI Use Has Destabilzed Me, posted by MChain on January 28, 2009, at 3:07:10
> Connor, it seems like we're in exactly the same situation, which is incredible to me because until now it seemed like ex-ssri users experienced everything under the sun except for my symptoms, and people even seemed to ignore my posts on message boards because of a lack of interest/experience or whatever. I too spend HOURS at a time just googling "SSRI+name a symptom" to see what popped up, and it was usually the same 5 websites and I never got any useful information.
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> When did you use the ssris (what age range?) and how long have you been off? I kind of feel like things are getting better (its been almost 11 months) but at the same time the cognitive fog is driving me nuts, its like my knowledge of the English language/working memory are both destroyed. I'll read newspaper articles, and though I understand the premise I'm constantly confused by words and phrases, like i'm 5 years old and learning how to read.
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> I know the frustration of being told your depressed every time you try to reach out to a psychiatrist, its exactly what my current pdoc is telling me, that there is no evidence to support my claim that my brain has been damaged by SSRIs. I am however starting to feel that all psych-meds may not be bad, since my current rate of recovery is incredibly slow, and I also had some kind of weird pain thing (fibromyalgia) at the same time i got depressed originally (age 12). I may give Wellbutrin a try on thursday after I see the psych but I don't know really how I should be going about my recovery, and I don't want to screw things up more.
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> I did find this study though that lends a little credibility to what we are saying http://www.informaworld.com/smpp/content~db=all?content=10.1080/10401230490281618 but the fact that we've been off the medications for awhile already seems to perplex all the doctors. I agree with the people on paxil progress etc. in that this could be a "protracted withdrawal" but I dont feel any physical symptoms, just these psychological things like apathy, low sex-drive, and cognitive dysfunction.
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> In any case, just hang in there because I think we're gonna both get through this, and if you feel comfortable sharing your e-mail with me please do so. I'm m.chain@yahoo.comI first started taking antidepressants when I was 15-16 years old. I was on Paxil, and what an experience that was. At first it did nothing, but eventually it like super charged my brain and I felt more intelligent, quicker, wittier. I was talking more. Then after a while the effects went away, and I started to feel dead inside, like my personality was burnt out. So I went off the drug but things just got worse. This is when I was terrified. What the hell is happening to me I wondered? I couldn't figure exactly what it was, I just knew something wasn't right. The way people would talk to me and joke around with me, and I just kind of sat there, not knowing how to respond to anyone anymore. And when I did it came out a jumbled mess because apparently i lost the ability to phrase things properly
Oh your just depressed, said the "experts" well I bought that. Four antidepressants later and two more years of sleeping all day, being anti-social, zombie like, emotionless, slow mentally, etc,etc. I finally just said screw it and stopped taking my prozac. That was in 2005.
When I started withdrawing I thought things were getting better. My emotions were more intense then before, and I felt I was coming back, but it was just the rollercoaster ride from the withdrawal which was just sending my mind and body for a ride. I remember breaking out into tears because of nothing. I remember not being able to give speeches because my anxiety was so high I would nearly like cry (this was never a problem before, and it's not a problem now either)
I'm not sure if I feel any better. With the aid of certain supplements I have been able to speed up my mind and maintain a certain amount of normalcy their. But their effectiveness is limited. I only take them when I go out and I can have a decent time. But without them I'm pretty much a drone. My main symptoms now are lack of libido, and lack of emotion/desire/enjoyment.
I am also thinking about trying wellbutrin, but I am so fearful that it could make things worse. I mean this is the situation I am in. I got depressed over a temporary situation that made me go on these drugs. Now I'm off these drugs and I'm depressed because of what these drugs have done to me. What do i do? Go back on more psycho-tropic drugs?? Ya right. I just fight through it. Convince myself that I can get better, but it seems like I'll be dealing with these problems for life. The question is how long I can take this before I explode. It's a problem hardly anyone understands or even acknowledges exists. I've been on many medications and I never had these long term problems the way I did with ssri's
poster:Connor
thread:874312
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20090104/msgs/876742.html