Posted by Racer on October 4, 2008, at 9:08:46
In reply to What is good for improving sense of humor?, posted by Michael Bell on October 3, 2008, at 13:17:03
For me, remission brings back my sense of humor. I gotta join with Yxibow -- smart fellow -- in saying that laughing at myself has helped me tremendously. Now, it might be easier for me, since I sometimes think I'm part cartoon character, and it's certainly gotten a whole helluva lot easier since I passed 40 some years back. Sometimes I get my therapist laughing hard enough it's hard to continue a session, just laughing at myself.
I come from a teasing family, though. A lot of that teasing wasn't very kind, so I had to learn to be OK with more appropriate teasing. Once I learned that, though, I find I tease myself a lot, and it helps defuse my anxiety an awful lot.
Do you tease other people? In a kind way, of course? If so, try teasing yourself, to yourself. Not the sort of self-depreciating "teasing" that's more an expression of self-doubt or self-criticism, but true teasing? Here's a quick example, from my therapy session the other day: when my therapist was trying to get me to examine my fear of gaining weight, I finally told her that, if I gained weight, the earth would fall off its axis, fly off into space, and then everyone would be devastated... Well, that's a form of teasing -- I know my fear of gaining weight is ridiculous. I know that it's part of the disorder. And it's still very real to me -- but the more I can laugh at how absurd it really is, the more I can defuse that fear that the world really would end if I gain five pounds. That sort of self-teasing has been a good technique for me to learn to control and reduce my own natural self-doubt, self-consciousness, insecurity, etc.
There's another thing that helped me more than I can say: teaching. If that's an option for you -- most areas have adult education programs that are begging for teachers for one or two classes a year, in any number of subjects -- I strongly recommend it. The first time or two is often hard, but if you can get to focusing on the students, and on their understanding of the material you're trying to get across, it's a priceless way to get over a lot of anxiety.
Now, I am certainly not saying that my native temperament has changed. Presenting myself as an outgoing, confident person will never be native to me -- but I can present myself that way now, largely through practice. So, practice makes a big difference, too.
And remember -- most people are too concerned with how *you* see them, to worry too much about how they see *you.* Sad, but far more true than one likes to think...
That's all kinda rambling. I do hope something in there is helpful...
poster:Racer
thread:855528
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20080926/msgs/855682.html