Posted by calamityjane on September 27, 2008, at 0:56:10
In reply to Re: side effects - anesthetic?can u answer this drBob? » calamityjane, posted by Larry Hoover on September 26, 2008, at 22:59:06
Ohhhh you just do not have any idea at all how much it means to me to get even a likely theory as to what happened to him. For two years I have tried and tried to get these records from the hospital, but it was difficult to get my mom to sign. Finally I got the chance to go in to the medical records office and view the details, on microfilm. It would be over 1000 dollars to get them on paper because there were so many - and they charge 1.25 per sheet "because they can", I was told. But while I was back there a lady came up to me and told me to print a few important things out, and that she would not charge...I just do not even know what to say right now. For YEARS I have been searching for a reason, an answer, some kind of possibility as to why this happened. Something that would rule out his personal responsibility in his death. I feel like this is the answer I have been looking for. I always felt in my heart that his was not a typical suicide, and all this time I have been silently placing blame against the doc that treated him. I still believe he too made some devastating mistakes in his choice of treatments for my father, but now I think I can rest assured there was never any malicious intent. (i know that sounds silly, but gosh i am sure I am not alone in that suicide survivors wish to blame anybody they can find, as long as its not their deceased loved one. Or at least thats how I have grown to feel over the years in my own situation.
Oh I just feel so sorry for him - I cannot believe it...I just cannot believe this happened to him. And I just could never ever convey how deeply I miss him.
LarryHoover you have no idea how much this post means to me - you just do not have a clue. From the bottom of my heart, thank you for taking the time to come up with this possible scenario. I believe that the knowledge of this likely theory is going to be the turning point in my life, where I can finally begin to stop being "Stuck" and obsessed with wondering "WHY".
Wow - I just cannot express how I feel at this moment. Your reply means the world to me. Gosh that sounds so dramatic. BUt honest to goodness, that is the truth.
photobucket.com/calamityjanelikespictures
that is the link to a few pictures of my dad. The last two are of him and I. I miss him so so much.
LarryHoover - Thank you, thank you, thank you
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poster:calamityjane
thread:854226
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20080926/msgs/854316.html