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pdoc appoint. tomorrow - lost

Posted by ricker on August 20, 2008, at 19:25:22

Hi guys, First off, I'd like to thank everyone here for their input I've received since becomming a member.

You people are very understanding and knowledgable....best support group by far!

Any way, I have been on nortriptyline 50mg for 2 weeks along with 50mg of zoloft and 0.5 klonopin tid.

I replaced the nortriptyline for my remeron as I felt extremely empty inside, as if the world could end and I'd be fine with it.

I read a couple of post's on nortript/zoloft combo's and though hey! that' my miracle.

Well, the last 5 nights have been hell. I can lay down at 11pm and stair at the clock for hours, last night I remember seeing 3:00 a.m. before I finally nodded off.

I think my body is tring to tell me to get back on the 15mg's of remeron.

When I see my pdoc tomorrow, I think he's going to be mad at me for making the switch without his approval. My GP was the one who said it was okay to try the nortrip.

I'm beginning to feel scared, useless and guilty for trying to make myself feel better.

I find myself reading all the post's and get so confused? Am I bipolar? Do I really need lamactil? I can't deal with this for the rest of my life. I told my wife it's like having brain flu.

I was going to ask my pdoc if I could try cymbalta along with remeron? Never been on cymbalta and I know the remeron agrees with me as far as refreshing sleep.

Truth be told, I'm kinda scared about the cymbalta due to some of the post's I've read. I don't want to feel like a zombie!

The reason I lowered my zoloft from 100mg to 50mg and added the nortrip. was so I could feel my emotions again and show my wife that I do love her. I have not had any desire in sex for 6 months. My father passed 8 months ago, my family was all in tears at the funeral service. I had to actually try and fake tears. I loved my Dad but I was empty. I stood at his grave with zero emotion.

I'm not a selfish person. I loved my Dad and I can't mourn his passing.
I hope God understands I'm sick, oh how I wish I could feel my emotions.

I could never understand when I heard people talking suicide... I can now relate and it scares me.

I just want to be let free from this 20 years of hell.

Sorry for rambling, I felt like I had to confess my selfishness.

I will let you know how my appointment goes tomorrow.

Thanks for reading my pain.

 

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poster:ricker thread:847439
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