Posted by Guy on July 13, 2008, at 11:14:24
I suffer from a chronic condition which I believe will eventually kill me. I have developed a mortal SUBCONSCIOUS fear of not being able to sleepsometimes so bad that I am even afraid to lie down. I have to medicate myself with Remeron, Valium and Gabapentin just to get some sleep, but I usually awaken in the early morning hours with a terrible knot in my stomach because I have been having a panic attack even before I am fully awake. The physical pain during the day is extreme and debilitating. I have a constant headache and fire shooting through my neck, shoulders and down my spinal column. Its a horrible type of pain that is not at all like a smashed finger, and it makes me very suicidal. All I can do is sit and cry and long for death so I can be at peace. Id be gone now if it werent for my family. My own father committed suicide and I know first-hand how traumatic that can be for a child...it's something you carry with you for the rest of your life.
poster:Guy
thread:839548
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20080706/msgs/839548.html