Posted by your#1fan on March 29, 2008, at 23:28:42
Who ever you are, you need to read this. I cannot talk about it, its confidencial. I dont know how im going to cope, im holding on to life with every latch i have. But dammit im so sick of being a victem, i want to be the Conquerer.
Listen.......im really sensitive to rejection, i cannot stand it when people jugdge or put me down, i start having thoughts in my head. Im very hypersensitive, and i am vunerable to attacks by other people, especailly when i thought they where my friends.
I think this something has happened for the good, but im really having a hard time that most people wont understand, they would jugdge me for just doing stupid stuff. Self-dispiline im judged over.
Why cant i just be an adult? an defend myself, and have, i have Asperengers Syndrome which has caused my mind to be vunerable to attacks by other people that
1)Im a stupid person
2)Im a slow person
3)im a bad person, with no disipline.I cant stand the feeling that people will reject me, im so scared and consumed with fear. I cover it up with smiles and happy faces,
From this obvious statements made by me, im
1)vunersable to attacks
2)the aspergenrs syndrome has affected my attention severely to where i dont know what people are saying and i feel rejected and stupid. This is severe, i thought it was simple autism, its not. It affects my social life. Causing
1)People dislike me
2)CrisismXanax has been helping with anxiety and some panic attacks, Prozac has been the miracle drug with struggling depression. The fact that people reject me is severe, i must do something. Tell my psychiatrist. Or some one who can help. Right now i've lost my inner strenth.
I know you are reading this online, but i wish we could all say where here to support eachother because im about to fall apart. I've been feeling not real, im drifting into another reality because i want to just have people that are kind. People in this world are mean, and Judgemental. Thats why i want to get off the planet.
Lets get to the main thing. Im dealing with
1)Certain people think im stupid, and strange, and undisplined, because maybe thats just how i am.
Next2)No one knows what i have, the condition affects my concetration and the way i perceieve reality. Its painful to live through knowing your half autistic.I really despise who i am, i really do. Thats why i have two other people in my head to deal with the pain i have to endure for each day. Im not Muliple personality, but i do expereince dissociation, because of i cannot fit in normally.
Im just leaving a note to anyone, babblers, please be with me. Dont put me down, please.
But let us pray.............dear father lord, please forgive us of all our sins, and relieve our pains of the day we experince. I pray for healing of all mental illness, and rebuke it. I pray for people in need right now, even reading this, to be healed. In God's name, Amen.
I will not be able to access a computer, but ill be back. Let fear leave our lives.
Your#Fan
poster:your#1fan
thread:820626
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20080316/msgs/820626.html