Posted by liliths on February 7, 2008, at 9:24:12
In reply to help!?, posted by liliths on February 3, 2008, at 11:45:19
... all so much for responding. It took so much out of me to actually write that other email, I haven't been able to reply. I knew it would mean writing more about something that can't really be helped and I know I can't un-ring the bell, so to speak, but here goes:
phillipa - bless you for remembering! and for the babblemail - I promise to write you back :)
So unfortunately, I'm stuck with my meds and can only manipulate the ones I'm already taking... part of 'monitoring' is that I have to send in copies of ALL prescriptions written as well as my pdoc filing a quarterly report on my 'condition'. If I admit to being depressed, they're allowed to initiate random drug testing, consults with their doctors and all at my own expense...
Florida is the ONLY state in the country that treats an admission of depression as a potentially dangerous condition for the public regarding massage therapists and automatically forces a 5-year monitoring contract. I fought long and hard to get it overturned - it took close to a year and in the end, though I came close, I didn't win. And something in me feels like it just broke as a result.
I currently have a possible 3 year out and am planning on requesting one after one year, which would be in august. But only if I can keep my depression a secret
My pdoc also turned against me in the process!! After assuring me that admitting my depression on my application would be no problem, once it turned into one, he seems to blame me. He was forced to change my meds - something we were both upset about and though it is supposedly illegal, they have the right to do it. Anyway, not only do I now have to fear what he may write in my reports, he refuses any change in my meds. I initially cut back a lot of them during the process - hell I would've quit them all if I believed it would get them off my back - and when I requested to go back on buspar 3 months ago as an augmenter to my wellbutrin, he began to yell at me and reduced me to tears.... yelling "you think you know more than the doctors"
well DUH! it IS my mind and body!
anyway, in addition to a ton of vitamins (including 5-htp, magnesium, dhea, dmae, just to name a few) that I take in the mornings I'm currently on
morning
81mg concerta
(supposed to take 2-54's but I've been breaking one in half) I was on focalin xr which I preferred but my current insurance won't accept it
200mg wellbutrin (generic - all my insurance will take)
15mg buspar
1mg klonopinafternoon:
100mg wellbutrin
15mg buspar
(also take 500mg magnesium)evening
1 or 2 klonopinanyway, thanks again... there's really nothing that can be done except for me to try and fight my way through this... if I can
I love you all for being here
namaste,
lilith
poster:liliths
thread:810489
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20080207/msgs/811258.html