Posted by Racer on August 31, 2007, at 19:42:57
In reply to I am afraid to think, posted by linkadge on August 31, 2007, at 18:12:52
Yeppers -- I get that sensation. It's worst for me at night, especially when I try to go to sleep. My stomach feels as though it's poised for flight, as though I'm about to be sick; my chest feels tight; every thought that begins feels as though it's going to bring on one of my obsessional attacks; and worst of all, if I do manage to get to sleep in one of those episodes, I'll have a night of those wake-up-crying-shaking-screaming-inside nightmares.
It's part of my anxiety disorder, and I have always "self-medicated" those episodes by reading in bed before I go to sleep. It's hard to read in that condition, but I have certain books that I can manage -- children's books, or Nicole Hollander collections -- or I pick up something like New Scientist magazine, which has enough short pieces I can concentrate well enough to read them. Eventually, that usually brings my mind away from the anxiety/obsessions, and I can relax.
If it happens during the day, I've been working on learning to self-sooth in a more active manner. My T is a big one on "learning to self-sooth," so I'm probably more resistant to doing it than most. (Just -- don't ask, OK? lol) I'm the one in my family who often calms others. I can even -- usually -- calm my mother down. (She's not crazy -- she's just a carrier...) There's a voice, and a cadence of speaking, that usually does the trick pretty well. I try to use the same method of calming myself down, although it's quite tricky. (Mostly because I sometimes feel so isolated, that I have to do this myself, that no one else is there for me when I need it, you know?) When I can get the same voice going, though, it works for me, too.
Also, some of the CBT type stuff can help. "It's only a thought, thoughts can't hurt." Reminding yourself of that might help.
Is there any topic that these thoughts often follow? That might be a clue of how to combat them. (Of course, I say that freely admitting that I read certain Nicole Hollander panels and see myself in the dogs -- dang, couldn't find any on her site. Well, the dogs usually sit there saying something in response to a cat's exaggerations, then finish the little bubble with the words, "Oh, bad dog. Bad dog!" It's hardest for me, when I get into that sort of state, because many times my thoughts are that something isn't actually my fault, or that I don't have it so great -- in other words, thoughts which in my childhood would have been contradicted, and I'd have been criticized for having in the first place.)
Link, I'm sorry you're having this experience. I hope it eases for you soon.
poster:Racer
thread:780047
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20070831/msgs/780064.html