Posted by curiousfish on August 29, 2007, at 3:48:44
I started 20mg of geodon a week ago. I am diagnosed with bipolar spectrum disorder..severe depression along with an edgy/sometimes happy hypomania. I thought lamictal was my silver bullet. I worked my way up to 200mg..and eventually crashed into depression. The depression crash was exacerbated by the job i lost due to the depression and I had one of the most frightening suicidal episodes I have ever had. I was actually analyzing the pros and cons of each method of suicide and ready to compile years worth of extra meds into a plastic bag just to 'look at'.
The geodon worked immediately. Im talking..i felt a bit better the next day..and even better the day after. I dont even think im depressed right now.. im not crying anymore.
but im feeling kind of 'funky'.
--tremors (i have tremors with lamictal..but they are worse now)
--dizziness
--feelings of being 'out of it'. its odd..like ive had a drink, but its not euphoric.
--i had a paranoid episode last night..where i curled up in the fetal position trembling, ready for someone to break through my window and rape me (i am NOT prone to delusional..etc psychotic symptoms).
--muscle weakness (i had a bit of this with lamictal as well..i feel like i cant lift anything..but i actually can.. i looked it up; its called asthenia.. perceived muscle weakness..its weird. everything feels heavier to me, but I can still lift the same stuff. (although i should not have skipped the gym for a month!!)
--walking feels weird..i cant really explain it..i just have to actually think about my legs moving..its like im relearning or something.
--hmmmm all i can think of right now..im a bit sedated, but not overly so.. but i do need minimum 7 hours of sleep to not feel groggy.one odd, but good point, my cognitive function has actually improved =P ive been using very complex vocabulary without that dreaded...'oh sh*t what is that word..on the tip of my tongue'. maybe it is because all the wellbutrin is gone (man that drug dumbifies me).
just curious to others' experiences.
i would obviously not trade 'funky' for suicidal hopelessness.
in a separate point..i feel like ive been on so many random meds that i have no idea what it feels like to not be on meds. what life was like before all the naggy little med symptoms. the days without mental clouding..tremors..insomnia.. dizziness.. constipation.. feeling 'funky'. sometimes i just dont know what a med is or is not doing.. or i dont know what is depression or mania..and not just me or the stimuli involved.. part of me is so tempted to quit all my meds to remember what is really wrong with me.. but i do need to remember that i was going to kill myself pre-med.
thanks for listening!! im going to see my psych doc tomorrow and ill report back. i actually accidently 'stood her up' today because i was depressed last week, i cannot even remember some of it.
poster:curiousfish
thread:779473
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20070824/msgs/779473.html