Posted by jelly belly on August 18, 2007, at 15:29:38
Well, I began seeing someone about a couple months ago, and I was feeling really good about it. I had to warm up a little to the idea of being in a relationship, because I've been very singular for the past few years, since the dramatic end of a dramatic five year relationship. We met under healthy circumstances. He was my friend's roommate and we started trading massages (I used to practice massage therapy and he is in school to get his license). He was a really good influence on me. We started going to the gym daily, and doing lots of yoga, eating healthy, not drinking (very much), or smoking (good for me!). Then...he sends me an email (an email!) saying he has decided to become celibate. What a lame way to break-up with someone, and didn't even have the decency to at least do it over the phone. I've decided I hate the act of conveying interpersonal feelings in the form of an email. He practices "tantra," and says if he ejaculates, he will become very depressed. Therefore, since we began having a sexual relationship, he has ejaculated accidentally a couple of times (most of the time he doesn't), and he'd been feeling depressed, so he decided no more sex. But don't take it personally, he says. How do you not take it personally when your lover tells you they are becoming celibate? Well, I think he is just a very depressed person (although he is on anti-depressants), and this is his way of pushing me away, so that he doesn't have to feel guilty about being very depressed and not wanting to do anything. I feel bad for him, but I really don't want to be in a relationship with someone who is that depressed anyway. It's all very sad. I don't understand how someone who is at the gym all the time and basically works out for a living (he is a personal trainer), not to mention the medication, can be so depressed. I guess I just don't understand severe depression. I probably wasn't very sensitive to his depression issues either. It's hard not to view emotionally disturbed people in terms of how they act.
poster:jelly belly
thread:776963
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20070815/msgs/776963.html