Posted by garyeng on August 8, 2007, at 13:56:27
My name is Gary. I'm 38y.o WM and have been an RN for 15 yrs. I suffered from anxiety since a teenager, but have always had it under control. I've been on Klononpin 1mg twice daily, Metoprolol 12.5mg twice daily, and Serzone 200mg twice daily for years. Occasionally I would take a 0.25mg of Xanax for anxiety, but for the most part it was all under control.
My 39 y.o brother passed away in December 2006 and I took two weeks off of work and returned. I was devistated as he was my best friend in the world and my mentor. My parents and sister are all alive and we are a close nit family. I have lots of support. In March of 2007 I was told to take a leave of abscence from work as my performance was not up to par. Leading up to that time, my anxiety was getting worse every week, with nausea, and all sorts of physicological symptoms.
I was worked up for a problem with my heart, gallbladder, adrenal glands, and a brain MRI. Everything was negative. I see a PHD psychiatrist once a week and have a Psychiatrist and a homeopathic Dr. I can't tolerate SSRI's, as I've tried most of them with terrible side effects (unbearable) mostly flu like symptoms which gave me body aches, chills, and vomiting. So my Pdoc is not helping much, nor it the psychotherapy. Even the homeopathic remedies arn't helping. I've also been to accupuncture several time and hypnotherapy. This is all over the last 5 mos. or so. I visited the ER on two occasions as the anxiety was so bad. I was loaded with IV Ativan and sent on my way.
I have audio CD's from Lucinda Bassett and The Linden method, which both are targeted at self help to eliminate or reduce anxiety.
My anxiety is so bad now, that I am shaking out of bed every morning and all day long. The Xanax doesn't seem to do much even at 1-2mg / day. My head always feels weired, and I get daily body aches in my neck, shoulders, and upper back, and in both of my arms.
For the most part, I can think clearly, but I seem to have zero control over what is happening to me. I suffer from Vitiligo an autoimmune disorder where I have lost pigment from my skin, but it doesn't bother me. Not sure if this is playing a part or not.
I recently had Serum Serotonin level checked and mine was 31. Range is 100-420. I have two wonderful kids 5 and 7 y.o. and a great supportive wife. I have a nice home, with no financial worries and right now living on disability which is getting me by just fine.
If someone can please tell me what is going on with me, I would be so greatful. I am still on the Serzone, Metoprolol, and Klonopin, and Xanax and nothing else. Please help me someone. I am feeling quite desperate. I'm not suicidal as I have tons to live for, but I don't think I can live like this forever.
Forgot to mention that I get crying spells often out of nowhere. I'm not so focused on my brother but on myself these days and getting well. Inpatient treatment is out of the question, as my wife works full time and no one to watch the kids during the day. I feel like I'm running out of options here. Any suggestions would be appreciated.
Regards,
poster:garyeng
thread:774825
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20070808/msgs/774825.html