Posted by rjlockhart on August 2, 2007, at 23:42:46
Reality and your minds way of thinking of it is really confusing.
I have been through periods of "ok" times, didnt have to say anything, i just get so confused and fedup with reality i cannot take it.
I feel like im someone trying to explain this to someone. I've learned things well.........."the hard way" and being in general, its with relationships, situations, social situations, friendships, i have gotten confused and frustrated with everyone of these.
I suffer with depression badly, i hide it from many people, when i wake up im so drained and so it feels like my heart is dripping, blood draining, that the real feeling. I have to take my antidepressants in the morning or i will have an emotional, miserable, this deep heavyness the whole day. Then i suffer from anxiety, but thats to a lest extent, sometimes i have taken antiaxiety medication just all this crap away from me. Then mainly at night is when i have the panic attacks. As you can see that all my intese posts are at night. I dont know how to express what im feeling and i want to really say an apology for just crazy posts.
I have been posting here for years, i have had other screen names, before rjlockhart, all the way back to 2003. When i came here for help for ADHD. Then i was more intrighted about what people where saying here.
But i think i need to get out of this routine or pattern im in which posters have told me im in a pattern before, which it had to due with social frustration.
If someone has known me for a long time? im trying to find out what the patterns of my posts are? going up or going down~ right now i belive there in a platue.
Thank you for reading this.
poster:rjlockhart
thread:773673
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20070730/msgs/773673.html