Posted by belljar on July 2, 2007, at 15:23:09
I must have read every paxil comment on the web - users for a few years being told that the side effects go away after a few months... But my most successful withdrawal time was 2 years - and I was still not back to normal. I am hoping that someone out there will have similar experiences to mine and can offer some ideas.
I have been on paxil since the beginning - 1993. Before it, I has some anxiety and OCD issues. I stopped in 1998 to have a baby - one year of HELL happened. Terrified to leave the house. OCD behaviours took over my life. Afraid of everyone. Manic eposides. Doctors diagnosed me with "panic disorder". Put me back on paxil. I so regret it. When i exceed 20 mg I become an angry, violent, egomaniac. 10mg the anxiety creeps in. So I bounce back and forth. Tried to wean off it in 1995. Lasted 9 months. Was paranoid, hid in my office at work, scared to come out.... foolishly agreed to back on it and to go see a new Psyc. He said I was Bipolar and put me on risperdol on top of the paxil (and ritalin and trazodone by then). I couldn't get out of bed and drooled all of the time. couldn't talk. Couldn't work (try and teach senior mathematics when you can't remember the times tables... ) My husband and I decided to just suffer thru the paxil. Another 2 years go by and here I am still on 15mg of paxil. 12 years of this drug - and I'm scared it's causing damage. Dark spots have appeared on my liver, docs don't know why. I have problems finding words ... I'll pick up a sock and ask my child to put this "thingy" in the .. and have to point at the sock drawer 'cause I can't find the word. I am angry. Violent. I make noises and have physical tics. I lash out at people when I get scared that I'm losing control (which is all of the time). I eat compulsively, craving food all day. I read these forums and desperately search for answers, but no one seems to have been on it this long. I can't go back to the "travelling psyc" that comes thru town, he gets mean and says that if I would listen to him and just stay on anypsychotics (so what's a little drool between friends) I'd be happy. Fat and drooly, but happy.Liver damgage. memory loss. confusion. anger. food nightmares. can't talk to people, unable to carry on conversations. Coworkers think I'm crazy (hmm, wonder why) ? No access to specialists. Family doctors don't know of any paxil complications. ?
I've started weaning off again - but how many years will it take to get back to the way I was before this horrid drug - a little bit of anxiety and having to check my curling iron "unplugged" 5 times after leaving the house ? That all seems not so bad in comparison to this.
Anyone out there been through this ? Any happy endings ? (please ?)
poster:belljar
thread:767197
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20070630/msgs/767197.html