Posted by starfox on June 20, 2007, at 7:44:08
After 4 years of not knowing what was wrong with me I have been diagnosed with mixed state bipolar disorder. My p doc has put me on 500mg of depakote per day and mirtazapine 30mg at night. I have recently split from my girlfriend after 5 yrs and Im at rock bottom. I cant even face work and i spend most of my days locked in my flat cryin. I have lost 2 stone in weight and Im a mess. I constantly go thru moods of euphoria to extreme depression with suicidal thoughts everyday. Im scared ill lose my flat because i cant face work and have lost interest in life. Im scared to take depakote because i dont want my hair to fall out. I want to just run away and dissapear,even as I write this message im in tears. I cant sleep thru the night without waking up after severe nightmares then can never get back to sleep. I wonder how much longer i can go on. I feel like i need to go in to rehab but cannot afford it. Will depakote help me? Ive been on mirtazapine for about 4 months at 30mg and it has not touched the depression one bit. I would like to try effexor but from what ive heard it can cause insomnia and i already have plenty of that!. Just feel like i need a mega potent AD to pull me from depths of despair. I should be at work today but im stuck in here yet again, it's like i just cant face life anymore, i been fighting for so long and im gettin tired and losin faith :-(
poster:starfox
thread:764379
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20070613/msgs/764379.html